Peace Begins with Me: Sobering Moments of Presence

Like happiness we search for it. Peace. We cling to the possibility of it, like a child to its mother when feeling the heaviness of fear or the void of her absence. It’s always there…over there, for the reaching, the yearning, the power of it when we imagine its presence. Even when faced with the most insurmountable hatred and war that grabs us by the ankles and shakes us to the core, we hold out with hope that “peace will prevail.” No matter if you believe in God, Krishna, Allah, the Buddha, or no-thing or no-one at all, the human experience still exists. What might call it “reality.” We deal with our world and the chaos we have created. Our fists in rage cursing someone else or something thing that caused this hellish world we live in. My friends, I am sharing this to remind you that WE have created this. You, me, and the conditions that have followed to create such a chaotic world that we no longer recognize our own human roots and those of our natural world. Yet, simple sobering moments can bring us to our knees when we are forced to look inside ourselves to see that peace is all around us when we allow ourselves to greet it with a humbling of our own reality…right.where.we.are. Clinging to it somehow fades into balance. Doubt into knowing. If we are aware.

Over the past four years, I have been faced with arduous and messy emotions of watching multiple close friends and family suffer and die. “They didn’t deserve this,” I have cried out to myself in my own quiet grief. “I don’t deserve this!” I realize that I am not alone in my anger, fear, regrets, and hurt. But, I have faced it alone in my mind in the few quiet moments of the day, but especially at night when I face myself before sleep. How many more must suffer from this pandemic and the tearing pain of war? Why can’t people see that we are all the same? We ALL just want happiness. What does it mean when people say peace comes with a cost? At WHAT cost? I realize that I am not unique or alone in this experience in the past years. I hope my words ahead speak to you in some way to bring the solace or an idea to create your own personal space for peace..

In the last year, I have lost more friends and family to illness than I care to acknowledge. Each life brought meaning to my own. They touched me in ways that even they would be surprised to hear if were they alive. Two aunts, three uncles, four close friends…my father. The thought of them leaving this planet left me with staggering grief. Watching the living grieve so deeply that even the thought of taking their own lives have taunted them. I have watched my LGBTQ+ friends suffer great lengths simply to be who they know they are inside. Why do others concern themselves with how WE CHOOSE to LIVE or DIE? Shocking thought here: We are all the same – human. We have the same organs: breathing lungs, beating heart. We even poop and pee the same! What sets us apart is our own realities, beliefs, and attachments. We actually choose our response to life in all three of these. Yep, you read it correctly: CHOOSE

I realize that my words seem to lead you down a never-ending rabbit hole of thoughts, retorts, and wanting to slam your laptop door shut (how dare she tell me what I can do!), but stay with me. There is a healing light to grasp onto in the midst of these chaotically emotional moments. A story of deep human connection that cannot be taken by war, hate, or even death. We leave the footprints of our lives after our departure. Remember the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “What Dreams May Come?” Perfect renditions of how we touch the world.

One day, after making a harrowing decision to place my dad in a nursing home, my mother and I were sitting on their deck outside. We sat quietly listening to the birds sing from the wooded area that I knew, growing up, as our backyard. The sun warmed our saddened faces from the waning May chill. Mom was quiet, away from her usual spunky manner. She was so quiet I could feel her pain. I was experiencing the pain of guilt for supporting such a decision for my dad. What had I done? How could I possibly allow Dad to go to a nursing home when I promised him I would care for him? I didn’t know I would be in my 60’s and unable to care for the man who gave me a life, a secure childhood, a roof over my head, food in my stomach, music lessons, sports opportunities. I felt like my insides were slowly being dug out with a dull hoe. In that quiet moment, Mom asked for my hands. I was puzzled. She said, “Please let me have your hands.” I extended my hands.

She gently held my hands for a long period of silence. Mom said warmly as she gazed into my eyes, “How did we get here so fast?” I was her first child, the one that initially changed her life from young woman to mother. She continued speaking with a sweet solace I’ve never heard from her. “Your hands used to be so small. Look at them now. We are both aging.” She smiled, tears dropping from her beautiful hazel eyes. Choking back tears, I was taken with these sobering words. I thought, time has passed so quickly. I was humbled to my core. All of my differences with my mother began to melt into a puddle of black tarry nothingness. It didn’t matter.

Over time, we grew so much even within the small follies of life: Christmases of the past, camping trips, music recitals, sports events, birthday parties, retirement parties, and now…aging through a seemingly quickening of time. Distance had drawn us apart, but I realized these moments in time created meaning to our lives. There seemed to be even more to it all, especially sitting in that moment with her, my hands in hers. All of our difficult moments were behind us as we faced each other with such love and presence. Nature surrounding us on the deck that day seemed to stand still to hear our words, witness our actions of love and perseverance through something so difficult that it froze us in time. It was quiet, peaceful. All we had was this immediate moment and that was all that mattered. Because there was love in that moment that seemed it might be snatched away, but we clung to it. It was all we had left. Nothing else mattered.

I gazed down at my mother’s hands. These worn and wrinkled hands that diapered many giggling, wriggling babes (all six of us), stitched our clothes, quilted beautiful quilts, baked very artful cookies, and plunked away at a song or two on the piano in a fleeting moment of napping children. These eyes that saw so much in her time from war to tragic life circumstances. Her smile could light up a room. Her youthful and-at times- naive humor brought many a snicker from us. In that moment we pondered silently our connections along the way in our lives, when we were together and even those times she and I were many miles apart either by road or in differences. But, the peace was there all along. Right within our loving grasp as we touched our hands. I felt a deep peace in her presence, like my childhood when she read storybooks at bedtime, when she dabbed a scabbed knee, even in her past anger when I was less than what she knew I was. Her voice became the sweet song of the birds in the air, the warmth of love like the sun on my face. I chose how this moment would be. I chose it for the peace that my mother allowed me to feel and that I shared with her to soothe her grieving heart. “It will be okay, Mom,” I assured her. “This is our life now, with changes we have no control over.” She nodded quietly and we both wept. We embraced as mother and daughter in that moment of presence and peace that only we could understand.

Thinking back on this profound act of my mother holding my hands, I am still shaken with the profundity my mother demonstrated that day. There was such a deep connection that we chose to experience within our own levels of grief in sharing our thoughts and feelings. We didn’t always agree on things. In fact, we struggled with our relationship throughout my childhood. At least I noticed it. But, to simply hold hands and look lovingly into each others’ eyes- none of it mattered. None of it. We chose to transform it all into a very mindful and present moment that brought peace to our hearts – even amidst the pain of our decisions. We disconnected from our emotions because they were not truthful. The truth was love. We made the decisions from love to care for my father, choosing not to buy in to the emotions of what others thought we should do or what they thought of our decisions. It came from pure love.

When I recognized that my emotions were playing into the aftermath of my choice I realized that my choice was also to let it go and let it be because there was love in my heart when I did it. I felt free and at peace.

Imagine if you could go to this place of presence and peace every time a conflict arose. There would be no shouting, calling names, getting back at someone, screaming, getting physically violent, and no guilt. With presence you would demonstrate the mindful behavior of emotional choices. It might be the most freedom you have felt in your life. Like a feather soaring through the sky with no end in sight. Simply soaring with peace. You might recognize where you’ve been does not matter. What material things you have might no longer matter. All that matters is love and peace.

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope it brought meaning to your day.

~ Kat

Kat is a freelance writer, co-author, mentor for caregivers, and advocate for women. She practices from her home in the suburbs of St. Louis, Missouri. Kat grew up the oldest of six children, became a very young wife, mother, and family caregiver. She brings compassion for caregivers to her mentorship that allows space for reality, healing, and peace of the mind and heart. You can schedule phone sessions with her by emailing rootedkat@gmail.com. 💕

Awareness: Think Journey, Not Wins

Have you ever seen people who live life seemingly in a total state of bliss and grounded wisdom? They beam clarity and listen intently with deep interest in what you are saying.  And, to turn the coin to the other side, we hear and read about the constant turmoil and unrest in our world with social media, politics, violence, greed, and fear.

Photo by Amy Chandra on Pexels.com

I think to myself – I want to be like the monk. I want that feeling of being the monk sitting in lotus pose on a mountain demonstrating shear grace and blissful abandon, as worldly chaos whips around them like a cyclone, jagged with emotions and flailing debris in the aftermath.  How do they do it?  

I was intrigued to see a recent text response from a sister after my posting that a game (we play internet word games as a family) was about the journey.  I was surprised to see her response that said that the game was about winning.  I don’t believe I have thought that way in my life that it’s about winning. Maybe as a child playing sports? I have never won a trophy or a medal or even a first-place ribbon. I was never that competitive, at least not in mind.

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

In my current life,  I see life as a journey or a process and what you get at the end might not even be what you thought you might get as a “win.” In my life I have disappointed myself in that way.  Overtime I have seen this process that leads to something good as an effective lesson in setting myself up for failure. This has become my own awareness about perception of what is “good” or “bad.” I have realized that we choose what that thing might look like. What is perceived as good to one person might be bad for another. Ice cream to most is a good thing, but not to a diabetic, for example.

For me I think I like a challenge, but maybe not necessarily the win. My thoughts are: ‘then what, after the win?’  You beat your chest, you scream crazy “in-your-face-I-won-and-you-didn’t?”  Regardless of who won, every person in the competition had a similar journey of striving to win a race, a game, or…life. Here’s a thought-provoking question: If you get cancer or a life-threatening illness does that mean you’ve lost? Or look at the other person and think, ‘glad that wasn’t me.’ Did you win?

So, what do you win if you take on challenges in life? Heaven? Will we know in our mind? Maybe even karma balances the wheel, and we will never know consciously if it ever did.  These things we will NEVER know as our conscious mind no longer functions after we die.  We can, however, believe, which is man’s way of coping with wanting the prize or the win at the end known as heaven, nirvana, or simply resting from the density of our earthly life.  Or maybe, it’s setting the challenge that we travel the journey with the thought that something good in the end will come with all our efforts.  

Photo by Rahul Pandit on Pexels.com

Perhaps, even I am caught up in what is called “the win.”  “Something good will come of this” journey so I can justify the challenges or pain along the way.  And maybe it’s why I strive every day through physical pain, thinking that something good will come of it. Maybe when I die, my organs will show something to science or maybe someone will read my written words and be enamored by the messages and thought process of someone who has gone through a lifetime of pain and endurance.  Is that a win? Or is it simply helping others learn without my knowledge of it ever being an acknowledgement? I choose the latter. Even now, I have a book in the works with a publisher who is begging me to submit it and I am still in the journey of it.  They want the win. I thrive on the journey.  

So, today I ask each of you to check in with your mind- deeply.  Take time, reflection, connect with nature if you feel it calls you; or even write it out.   What is your thought process with daily life, sports, your family, friends, your spouse? Are you living your life in the journey with no expectations? Or are you in it for the “big” win? Or living in the present, mindful state of bliss like the monk on the mountain? What you choose today will impact yesterday, today, and tomorrow. But, for now we only have today, this moment, this thought of the journey. Join you on the mountain.

by Kat Kohler Schwartz, Conscious Living Coach for Taproots for Life, LLC

Kat is a trained professional mentor, author, and women’s advocate who specializes in the art and science of Neurolinguistic Programming, Cognitive Behavioral Training, Emotion Training, and Conscious Living. Kat offers coaching and classes on Conscious Living       314-359-2467

Three Chameleons Walk into a Coffee Bar…Coaching with Awareness and Effectiveness

Whoa! It’s been two years since I’ve written! Well, not to disappoint. This one is for you, my fellow coaches! Here is Part Two:

Three Types of Behaviors that could help you recognize specific behaviors as coaches that we might miss.

In my last article in November 2019, “Are You a Chameleon?” I talked about three specific types of people, or behaviors, who are adaptable to any situation, sometimes so much that they sacrifice their own true core identity. I used characters in a story to capture these.

One: The bar tender (using barista in this blogging) is the Listener

Two: The doting friend is the Helper

Three: The friend going along with everything is the People-Pleaser

In my practice, I work with people of all types of personalities who come to class to learn how to be a better leader, manager, parent, sister/brother, or spouse. Regardless of the reason they attend the class is to satisfy their inner curiosity of what it is they can do to “correct” a certain relationship that is not working or they simply want to find out how other people’s minds work through coaching.

If you noticed in the last blog, there were two friends that walked into the bar. One friend insisted on buying the drinks. The barista simply served up what they ordered. The receiving friend could not drink certain beverages, but she did not refuse her friend’s insistence upon having one.

Photo by Yan Krukov on Pexels.com

Let’s consider the Listener. We are now in a coffee bar. He is listening to the order and the conversation between the two friends. He is simply curious to hear what is being said. He is trained at listening, perhaps because of his job or he is simply a good listener.

The Helper – the insisting, doting friend- is one who loves to help others at any cost, maybe even to her family or sacrificing her values to do so. She is well-intentioned, but could never put herself in the position of receiving from anyone, therefore she tends to be the talker, the giver, the overachiever. She might attempt to help the person who really doesn’t want or need her assistance, like buying a drink for her friend who really cannot drink the specific drink she is insisting upon.

The People-Pleaser is the best friend to have for the Helper, because she will not only listen, but allow anyone to make decisions for her, choose her look, even choose her words for her.

Why am I bringing these three people together in this blog posting? Because all of these descriptions could be one person and they could be three different people. AND…it has nothing to do with personality! You read that right. These descriptions actually have to do with how we process past experiences. Our actual personality is hidden deep within a core of what is true, behind the behaviors and language we tell ourselves that we are totally unaware of.

Coaching students- at some point in their training and practice- have experienced one or more of these mindsets in their own coaching. The doting coach that wants so desperately to help that he/she does not even hear what the client has said. Lack of confidence in coaches can derail a coaching conversation in a heartbeat and lose the meaning of the conversation for the client (and for the coach). And finally, the advanced coach who is aware and listens without commenting, judging, inserting beliefs, or nudging the client: He/She is the learned coach who continues to grow and learn from his/her collection of information and experiences from holding and practicing effective conversations with curiosity, but with intention.

So, you might ask: What do you consider an effective conversation? In the world of EWTI (Emotional Wisdom Training Institute), we consider an effective conversation to include a beginning, middle, and end. The beginning is simply getting acquainted and asking questions that anyone, any age, or culture can answer. This is a “relaxant” for the mind, like sipping a cup of calming tea with a friend. The idea is to move toward the unconscious heart where the core of who we are resides. Our subconscious mind, however, has some different ideas about going there. Unbeknownst to us, it will protect us at the most heightened of moments but even more so it will protect us in the most subtle of situations, like when we want to do something new. It will protect us from venturing out (because our subconscious has labeled similar past experiences.

The middle of our conversation is moving through the subconscious mind and into the unconscious heart with a process that is very much like hypnosis but while awake. Or likened to yoga for the mind, which is the relaxing and flexing of the mental “muscle.” This is where the magic happens! The carefully scripted questions are designed to gently open the unconscious heart to hear what information comes forth that is true, sound, and curious.

At the end of our conversation the coach pulls together all the gathered information and brings it to two very important power questions asked of the client. These questions bind the agreement of the conversation, the collected information, and the commitment to acknowledge the information gathered from the conversation.

So, what does all of this have to do with being a chameleon and the people at the coffee bar? Well, my friend, it has everything to do with how someone will conduct this effective conversation addressed earlier. To gather the maximum amount information, cooperation, or interest from a conversation it is important to know how you fit into those behaviors. So, are you the Listener, the Helper, or the People-Pleaser?

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

The behaviors and thought process qualities in the captioned conversations are effective to a degree, but two of them carry some past emotions that seem to rule how they address people, these “rules” coming from their own subconscious ego. Can you guess which ones? I’ll bet you guessed the Helper and the People-Pleaser. Yep, while they are truly good intentioned friends or coaches, they possess a quality that holds them back from creating solid lasting relationships.

The Helper will over extend his/her welcome by continuously over-sharing, over-stepping their willingness, assuming that someone needs his/her help. They are also the over-achiever, the passionate one who will carry out anything you ask of them. the downside is that they can also become overwhelmed at their own doing. So, first: No one is broken! EWTI teachings for coaches view every single human being as whole, perfect, resourceful and able to make the best decisions possible with the information they currently have. When the Helper learns to see where the past has led them to this position of ego, they are easily now capable of stepping back and allowing their friends (clients) to provide feedback, empowering them (not overpowering them), and listening (see where I am going with this?) to them, hanging on every word with utmost curiosity.

The People-Pleaser, much like the Helper, will also overextend themselves to the point of depleting all of their energy. They are tired of giving but would never dare tell anyone. They are extremely passive and sometimes come across as a Zen style personality, when inside they are feeling less than who they really are. What is the result? An angry, frustrated inividual who gives and gives and never gets a return because they have not stood up for themselves to draw the virtual boundaries required to be a confident and balanced individual. Again, they are not broken. They just need the information that will empower them. And…the information is already within them. A simple (again, an effective) conversation will move them toward that internal core that is awaiting to illuminate the heart and when the People-Pleaser becomes the Leader who is no longer afraid to direct versus be lead. This is the balanced friend we want to be!

Photo by Michael Burrows on Pexels.com

Now, we come to the Listener. The listening barista will not only hear your order, he/she will hear your emotion, your tone, and even recognize body language that he/she may not even see. They offer no opinions, no sharing of their own story, no comments. They simply listen. This is the first stage of being a balanced chameleon. The person knows their power.

“…elements in three are empowering…”
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The second stage of being a chameleon is being empowered through the Helper or the People-Pleaser outlook, with some slight modification. The chameleon, the animal, blends in with its environment, he/she takes care of his/her body when needed, he/she shows their own beauty in silence. As the metaphorical chameleon, the coach shares perhaps a small subtle story to help the client understand they are not alone. This type of coach not flashy or forward, yet confident and empowering. He/she simply is accepting, aware, and awakened (elements in three are empowering).

We can be much like a chameleon in the ways that benefit ourselves and others. We learn by identifying our own behaviors, much like the ones outlined previously. Most coaches want to help others in a profound way. We are enamored with the “big screen” coaches who have changed people’s lives and parade people on stage with great fanfare. They get something from the fanfare. This might be attractive to some, but in “real life,” that is not the way coaches live and mentor people to be empowered. There is way more to coaching than well….just coaching and collecting a paycheck. It is more subtle, gentle, yet with intent.

Photo by Egor Kamelev on Pexels.com

The chameleon “blends in with the client,” he/she virtually “sits” along side the client, they are supportive without adding their own spin on what they think the client is saying or using their own words to describe what the client just said to them. And, the chameleon will listen…and listen…and listen more. Not just listening to the current words but listening to the words they said in the prior conversation and the one before that. And, just as important, listening for the things they don’t say. Imagine a progressive conversation that builds on the one before it and the one to come, gently unraveling old patterns of thinking and using them to their own power.

As a coach, we sometimes fall into the behavior of analyzing our clients (the Helper who already “knows” what their client needs) without really listening to what they have to say. It happens to all of us at some point. The difference is that trained coaches notice when it is happening. AND, the most important part is to return to listening without any judgment, clearing away the thoughts and stories that enter our minds even far beyond the conversation starting. Coach: “I wonder how she will answer my questions, she might not like my questions, what if she hates me…” and the repertoire of stories from our subconscious mind begins. Yet there are ways to empower ourselves, as coaches, to BE the balanced chameleon that is settled, grounded, and ready to be present for our client (and ourselves.). Keep in mind that the client is never broken. They just need to remember the resources they already have within them. Only the client knows what they need and it is up to us to guide them toward it with their own thoughts, their own power of words, their own heartfelt emotions. It is the coach’s job to support the client in “calling up” those memories and labels that the subconscious mind so aptly labeled as good or bad; or don’t do that, do this.

“…we merge all the the qualities and behaviors…with a rich coaching platform…”

Also, as a coach, we must empower ourselves with the confidence to carry out such a methodical approach to helping our clients get what they want. It takes courage to see our own behaviors, it takes practice to become better at supporting others’ achievements, and it takes a willingness to be transparent, honest, and caring. We all naturally possess these qualities! But, how do we get there? Finding the most effective coaching for yourself is one way, but even better is to find the training that will follow a specific set of structured and moral principles that anyone can live by.

Here are five principles that are solid and can be applied to any situation, any person, and any lifestyle:

1. Know what you want; 2. Know how to ask for it; 3. Show up for yourself and others; 4. Keep your word to yourself and others; 5. Develop an attitude of gratitude along the way.

Kate Michels, founder and CEO of Emotional Wisdom Training Institute created and initiated these principles with her students nearly 21 years ago and still practices with the same principles. They are solid, to the point, and empowering.

The third stage of being a chameleon, is when we merge all of the qualities and behaviors mentioned, we find ourselves with a rich coaching platform from which to work. We provide a safe, warm, and inviting place for our clients to thrive in their own empowerment and live from that beauty every day, not just a one-time place on a stage. You will find a sense of gratitude in everything you do and your clients will, too. You have become the beautiful chameleon: aware, accepting, and giving!

If you are interested in joining courses that meet the guidelines of this blog, I invite you to my next information class through Emotional Wisdom Training Institute. Please visit the website: https://www.emotionalwisdomtraininginstitute.com

Kat Kohler Schwartz is a Senior Instructor for Emotional Wisdom Training Institute and founder of Taproots for Life, LLC. She supports women over 45 to shatter the code of aging with empowering conversations. Her book, “Riding the Freedom Bus to Your Best Life after 45” is due to be published in 2022.

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Taproots for Life,LLC is a subcontractor for EWTI.

Are you a Chameleon?

PART I: Three Types of People-Pleaser Mindsets and their Missions

I’m sure you are wondering:  Why is Kat writing about with chameleons?  Well, my friends, I am a great advocate of using metaphors to better understand difficult concepts.  The chameleon is a fantastic animal to use as one of the metaphoric stories to get to know a specific style of mindset that we encounter every single day. 

First, a chameleon is a reptile that lives in various parts of the tropics that is one of the most versatile-minded animals with a predisposition to be adaptable and non-predatory.  Secondly, they have the beautiful ability to change color with mood, temperature, and season. I liken them to people-pleasers of the human species. 

People pleasers can be categorized into three types of behavior that I have called:  Energetic, Passive, and Master

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  Photo by Marcelo Chagas on Pexels.com

Energetic people-pleasers are those lovely folks who want to change the world and you are their target.  One can always count on them to organize a benefit or workshop that will bring change to the individual, the group, and the community.  Why?  Because the Energetic people-pleaser wants to know they can fix it. 

The Energetic people pleaser is the type of chameleon who will change their colors to meet you wherever you are because they have decided they want to help you – whether you want it or not.  You hear them chanting it all the time:  The world needs to change! This chameleon mindset will make change, but sometimes it is only immediate and short-lived.

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Passive chameleons are the quiet people-pleasers whose colors have blended into the background and have become so passive that they do not even have a defense mechanism.  They are good people; however, the boundaries are invisible just like they have become.   Passive people-pleasers will give the shirts off their backs to help someone who is in need.  They will lie across a muddy bank to allow an elephant of needy cargo to cross as their backbone flexes and endures the pain.   These are most likely special people who have endured abuse, neglect, and other social injustices.  They feel justified in being invisible, without a voice, in order to help others.  They tend to feel a connection with those they help. Passive people-pleasers are most likely inspirational in the remote chance the receiver realizes it.  It is a receiver’s paradise.

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Master Chameleons are people-pleasers who tend to either have recognized their natural gift of empowerment or have committed to self-reflection and active personal growth in order to realize their capabilities to assist others to follow suit with the same program.  They aspire to be influencers in a way that inspires others to follow their lead.  This chameleon adapts and is aware of those around them in the diverse forest in which they navigate.  Core people-pleasers utilize their intuition to motivate.  Most of these chameleon-types only want to be a part of the change, not THE change. They seem to be grounded and balanced.

 Do you know one of these types of chameleons?  How have they entered your circle of friends or family?  Do you recognize them at work?

This is Part I of recognizing the chameleon as a metaphor for understanding the people-pleaser mindsets and how they serve in various social settings.  Once we begin to take note of their behaviors, we can see them everywhere – much like when you buy a green car, you suddenly begin to notice green cars everywhere.  This article is meant to bring to your attention to what part you play in being a people-pleaser, to become more aware of your own behaviors, and to recognize the chameleon in others to gain better understanding in those various social settings when conflict arises.

Next month, I will break down each of the chameleon mindsets and help you build on what supports you when you find yourself in a social setting and wonder where you fit in. It is important to know that these outlined observations are not necessarily personality types, but a mindset that we choose with the current information that is in front of us.  Ultimately, all people are inherent influencers, but our emotions become the game-changer when we decide upon a belief to attach to incidents, accidents and events in our lives.  When we are aware of these “belief triggers” we can re-set our mind to what we truly know ourselves to be and to create and influence toward a better world around us.

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  Life is Full of Suprises!

Kat is a Professional Core Alignment Mentor, author, and Neurolinguistic Practitioner. Through her global practice she supports women in changing their mindset before, during, and after life-changing events.

Kat will be teaching Core Alignment Principles and Practices through Emotional Wisdom Training Institute in the Winter session 2020.

Taproots for Life, LLC https://www.taprootsforlife.com

Emergence from Ashes: Compassion

On this date, September 11, Americans still feel the haunting hollowness of emotions that bring us back to that moment in time. The moment in time when the world stood still. Planes grounded, trains stopped, traffic seemed non-existent, and life just…felt…stunted. There was a long lull of shock that seemingly stripped our emotions to the raw.

As we all watched from our TVs in horror, another rhythm was droning beneath the surface of the accident. There was no time to pause for emotions, no time to ponder what was next. Across America, hundreds of people jumped from their chairs, sofas, beds to quickly shove on their shoes, a uniform, rescue gear, gas masks. People from remote places hopped in their cars to drive hundreds of miles. These responders prepared themselves, fired up mobile medical equipment and organized rescue missions to help the victims from dangerous crumbling towers filled with smoke and soot so thick it made them choke. People hugged their children, friends, even rivals. Religious establishments convened to pray.

What we choose to remember is what becomes important. An incident occurred, it was tragic. It cost precious lives. But, it took this horrific crime and tragedy to show where the backbone of our human race lies. Whether we are homeless on the street or an executive in a tower, we live as a people with a beating heart and a common allegiance to the United States of America. Our ancestors worked diligently to build this country for us, a decent place to live with freedoms that outweigh any other. Our countrymen and women carried the same rhythm that carries us forward from the ashes to this day, a memory of profound loss, yet triumphant personal growth and gain.

We choose to see our greatness, the brave lives who selflessly gave, the rallying to support the grieving, and the resilience of a nation that puts aside its differences to become one. Without our choice to see the brilliance of such alignment and oneness, we lose our mission, our vision, our voice, and our courage.

Around the world, caring people served in some way, whether in prayer, meditation, well-wishing or whether they were able to dig in and labor it onsite. In one relatively small period of time, America demonstrated its passion for life, love, and the pursuit of happiness for its country and for the world.

So, just for today, ponder the beauty that came from this tragic incident. The beauty that emerged from the ashes brought together unlikely friends, enemies, strangers to work toward one commonality: Love, Life, and Compassion for each other as human beings.

Make your choice love, always.

~Kat

When Loneliness Knocks on Your Door…Answer it!

Five ways to lean into loneliness and find resilience.

There are times in our lives when loneliness may haunt us.  It might be our child leaving for college or going to the non-custodial parent for visitation; or, it might be when our parents transition to the other life.  For some, it might be those long years after the loss of a spouse, whether in divorce or death.  Perhaps you are a military spouse raising children and your loving husband/wife is serving abroad.

Upon reading a book, When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chödron,* I found this chapter that really spoke to me.  She talks about being in a state of loneliness. 

Pema Chödron describes six kinds of loneliness to demonstrate our phases and evolutions beyond what might make us feel “crazy” and feeling like we must do something with it.  She, further, describes this state of being with our loneliness, a sort of leaning in.

There are quite a few types of conversations that I conduct with my clients on this very topic.  We’ve all been there: constant yearning to do something to replace the anxiety of it; we want to fix the other person, hoping for better companionship; eating to stuff the emotions down deeper; over-exercising; pacing the floors; feeling no purpose because this loneliness has consumed you so much that you cannot even move.  We buy cars, boats, relocate to a new place, anything to remove this feeling of loneliness.

Yes, you know it; you’ve been there. you have felt the pain. Even children have experienced the loneliness of living with someone who is in the home, but emotionally removed from their lives. 

We tend to feel this sense of need to explain this state of loneliness, to place blame or defeat.  But, it only takes us deeper into our anxiety and our search for happiness.   So what can we do?

• What is it? Sit with it.  Yes, exactly that:  just sit with it.   Sit long enough to find, first, the story about this feeling of loneliness.  Find time in your day for about three consecutive days to sit for 15 minutes to an hour, as long as you can keep your thoughts straight enough to research it in your mind.  What is the location of these feelings? Does it feel sad, painful, physical, etc.?  Then leave your meditation or pondering and go about your day. Practice this for three days, dedicating about the same time to each question.
• Ask yourself:  On the fourth day, ask yourself “What is it about this feeling of loneliness that serves me?”  “What does not serve me?”  Lean into it, feel it, BE it. Do not judge it, just be still with loneliness.
• Showing up:  On the fifth day, this is when you lean into the feeling of life without judging loneliness.  You know that life will bring that feeling again, but now the emotion is different. After about 10 minutes of meditation, ask yourself, “What is it that I do that helps me show up for myself?”   What does that look like?  What do you want it to look like?  Meditate on that without judgment.
• Keep your promise:  Once, you have done the meditations with loneliness and how you can show up for yourself – even while emerging from the state of loneliness- imagine living in this neutral, curious state all the time.  Find time each day to do something that reminds you of who you are or who you want to be.  Really take time for this, even if it is ten minutes.  Light a candle, sing a song, dance to your favorite tune, walk on the grass- feel this feeling of who you are.
• Living in Gratitude:  When we LIVE in gratitude, the world is a much different place.  We become like a curious child to see what other magical moments and surprises arise so we can be grateful for those moments.  They are teaching moments.  This state of being brings us to mastering the resilience of the state of loneliness and walking further in the mastery of happiness.

“When we LIVE in gratitude, the world is a much different place.”

When loneliness arises in your life, and it will, keep these concepts in mind.  You have choices in how you live your life, responding wisely with the feeling of alignment.

As I mentioned, in my mentoring/coaching practice I conduct several different types of conversations to further go into this feeling of loneliness and other emotions that seem to haunt us and hang on.  There are multiple different ways to practice and find this resilience that changes how we respond versus react to these emotions.

If you are a Personal Coach or serve in Employee Development, you will encounter these situations weekly, if not daily, with your clients/employees.   There is this continuous yearning for happiness that I’m sure you recognize: the next promotion, making more money, taking on more responsibilities, going back to school, getting along with others in the workplace.   The list becomes endless, and it is your role to gently guide and help your client bring forth all the necessary information in order to make better informed decisions,  be more mindful, embrace diversity and work in a happier state while employed with the company they serve.

For individuals:  You are invited to attend….

On October  18, 7pm CST, I will be offering an International Call on the topic of happiness, The Pursuit of Happiness and Health  This workshop is a product of Taproots for Life, a for-profit organization that uplifts women who are finding their voice after life-changing events and want to bring magic and surprise back into their lives. 

NEW STUFF!

AND! Below is a link to the upcoming course on September 19, 2019 that Kate will be training as a springboard to the full course in January 2020.

The Wondrous Movement of Core Alignment Coaching

Coaches:  In January 2020, I will be teaching forty-week coaching course that explore the practices of NeuroLinguistic Programming and the art of Emotional Wisdom Training.  This course will be offered by Core Alignment Coaching through our Emotional Wisdom Training Institute.  Visit the website to inquire or register for the class below:  Core Alignment Coaching Website

Kat Kohler Schwartz is an educated, certified Professional Core Alignment Mentor who employs her rich life experiences to support women who wish to bring their inner voice outward to experience a more enriched life.   Kat is the founder and mentor of Taproots for Life and serves as a member, teacher, and coach for Core Alignment Coaching, owned by teacher, founder, and psychologist, Kate Michels,.

• Phone:  939-333-4624
• Schedule Free Mentoring Session with Kat.

The Arc of Anger in the Workplace

Did you ever experience a person of authority in the workplace who “ruled” with anger?  I say “ruled” because you really can’t call it managing, and you really can’t call them a manager or even a leader.  Although people who accept this barbaric style (do I seem a bit passionate about this subject?)  of “ruling” will call it managing.   Well, I am here to talk about this beast of anger that exists in millions of businesses from the executive offices to the person who sweeps the floors.

It is the dream of every business owner and manager to have team that is aligned, balanced and satisfied.  When the entire team has this mindset, there is little turnover, better bottom lines, the business simply thrives with ease.  But if the leader falls short of these expectations,  the ripple runs deep throughout the organization.  Consider this story about one potential leader:

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

A nurse (we’ll call her Carol) stepped into her boss’ office one day to discuss the time off structure.  “I believe that part-timers should get paid vacation, too.  I have worked here for one year and have not been able to take time off. with pay”   Her boss (Bridget)  was surprised by her request, since she only worked two to three days per week and had the rest of the week to call “vacation.”   “Carol, we’ve had this discussion before and it seems that other part-time nurses are completely satisfied in working with the current structure.  What else do you have to talk with me about?”

Carol’s anger was mounting as she resolved that she had no other choice but to be persistent – today.  It was important to her and her family.  “Bridget, this is really important to me and I wish you would not dismiss it as though it were not.  Each year my family would like to take vacation without my loss of income.  I’m only asking for a week, for God’s sake!”

Bridget stood up from her desk.  “We are done here.  You have come to me for six months, ungrateful for the job I have given you, and you ask for paid vacation while others are perfectly happy with this arrangement.  I am not going to re-write policy for one person, let alone a part-timer who is consistent whining!”

Tears brimming in her eyes, Carol left and went back to her desk.  She couldn’t show this tyrant her defeat, although she felt defeated and a failure.  She wanted Bridget to at least consider her request just once.  She believed it was a small request that would show little impact.  Two days a week?  Really? This nursing agency can’t afford that?!  C’mon!!

Bridget slammed her door upon the heels of Carol’s exit.  She was billowing with the internal fires of anger.  How dare her, coming in here like a princess, demanding that she have more perks than what we already give!  She is such a pre-madonna witch!!  I oughta just fire her and put myself out of this misery  each month.

A faint knock on the door in intervals of three caught her attention.  “What?!” she shouted.

“A faint knock on the door…”

“Bridget, a man has been waiting to see you for about 20 minutes, ”  said the receptionist.  “He said he only has 10 more minutes to wait.”

“Tell him that he was late, so he’s just going to have to reschedule,” Bridget barked back.

“Yes, ma’am,  I will tell him, but he is here to audit our files.”  Bridget’s body began to shake, she felt out of control.  “It’s that damn Carol, she started all of this, this morning! “

Bridget instructed the receptionist to detain the auditor just a few more minutes because she had to take care of something extremely important.  The staff could hear her vindictive sounding high heels stomping through the walls of cubicles.  Who will be next?  They were used to this weekly turmoil from Bridget’s office.  Always someone getting reprimanded or fired. They were nearly immune to the continuous drama.

Her stomps stopped at Carol’s cubicle.  Bridget hovered over Carol as she sat nervously fumbling through papers and not daring to look up at the “monster.”   “Carol?”   Carol did not dare look her in the eye, she trembled with fear.  “I called your name, I deserve your attention, Carol.”   She finally complied with a wincing eye-response.

“Bridget?”  A long pause seemed to suck the air from Carol’s lungs.

“Carol, you have caused my whole day to be disrupted, late for my appointment, and it is 9am and you are not out seeing patients.  How can I expect to run a decent agency when one nurse cannot comply like the rest?”   Carol mustered up the courage to regain her composure.

“But, Bridget?”

“What do you want now, Carol?!” Bridget screamed back in single word accents. ” I have someone important waiting!!”

“Today is my day off.  I came in on my day off to meet with you, so I will not be seeing patients, today.”

“Fine, that’s just fine.  See, you have a day off!  I do not, however, and need to get to an appointment.  You can pack up your stuff and get the hell out of here.  You have caused too much disruption in the flow of work around here!”  With that, Carol experienced a calmness  that seemingly came out of nowhere.  “Not a problem, Bridget.  I will be gone, today.  All of my equipment is setting on the counter.  Have a successful year, Bridget.”

Expecting a fight from Carol, Bridget needed more fuel for her anger.  She stomped back to the front desk where the auditor was waiting.  She shoved her hand in his face, smiled with all teeth, and made her introduction.  She turned dryly and led the man back to her office, again digging her heels into the floor as she walked.

The auditor asked for a glass of water and Bridget stopped for a deep breath,  rolled her eyes, and called the receptionist to bring back a pitcher of water and two glasses.  None of her actions and words went unnoticed by the auditor.  He was within clear ear-shot of the earlier conversation and the eye-roll was the next straw that were tipping the scales of his awaited report.

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

“Bridget,  we met three months ago and discussed a few items that did not pass my audit.  Would you present your response and demonstrate the process outcomes?”

“I sent those to you, Mr. Clark, on tie so I thought you were here to clear our response to the discrepancies. Did you receive them?”

“Well, yes, but I need to see how you corrected the process.”

“Oh, the process!  The process, yes.  Well, the nurses took care of that.”

As you read this story, you can see where Bridget’s fate is headed.  What can you point out as some of the key components of how her anger is mounting to an arc, like a flashpoint of fire?

1.  No filters- speaks in negative terms
2.  Only one of the side of the story is important- hers
3.  Blames others for her shortcomings
4.  Allows impatience to fuel anger
5.  No compassion
6.   Seems “put upon” – perhaps a by-product of overwhelm or large undertakings beyond her scope of time or skill
7.   No delegation of role- did not refer to human resources
8.   Not a champion for the team- lack of respect
9.   No leadership skills
10.   Does not see how her actions affect everyone around her (remember the fearing people in the cubicles?)

It appears that Bridget allowed her anger to surpass what was really important – apparently on a daily basis.

What? You don’t think these managers still exist in the workplace in our current society of being equal and kind to one another (tongue in cheek)?  Hmmm.  Ask around, they exist more than you know.  What is important is that you recognize it, report it, and possibly offer help to bring balance – if you are that type of person who is strong enough to handle this style of management.  Work with your human resource department, and get some coaching to arm yourself with mental tools to care for yourself.

Now, what to do about Bridget.  Eventually, Bridget was reported by Carol to the human resources director.  With Carol’s persistence and accurate reporting, the human resources department referred Bridget to a coaching program.  Their company had an employee assistance program that included six weeks of coaching.  Of course Bridget was resistant because her anger was still at the arc of destruction – self-destruction and workplace destruction.

After several phone calls from human resources, and finally a warning, Bridget succumbed and scheduled her first coaching session.  She agreed to “meet” her coach over the phone on her lunch break (which Bridget had to create time for to make this work).

Her assigned coach, Cara, greeted her with openness and grace.  Immediately, Bridget began spewing out all of her woes with work and how she feels like she could die due to all the stress.  She said she was on a heart monitor and taking a sleep study because she cannot sleep and her heart was beating a “million miles a minute.”

Cara allowed her to download for about 10 minutes and then stopped her to ask a question: “What’s your favorite time of year?”  Bridget stopped her spinning abruptly and answered the question.   Cara always viewed this as the magic that intercepts the arc of anger.  Surprised with the abrupt cadence, Bridget responded, “I like Summer, why?”  And, the healing began.

Bridget attended Cara’s sessions for the maximum allowed, then hired her for the next year.  Bridget had broken a cycle that was causing her suffering for so many years.   Each session brought more clarity of her anger:  she was angry about her father leaving when she was 10, she was the primary caregiver of her siblings when her mother went to night classes, she had no friends at school, she struggled through college; and, the list went on.

All of these incidents and events in her life impacted how she would interpret the journey in her adult life.  ‘Fight them off before they get to know you‘ became her internal mantra.  However, without external intervention she may have lived with this in her mind for the rest of her life, impacting everyone around her and beyond (ever “kicked the cat” when you came home from work? It’s called the domino-effect.).

Bridget took a short leave of absence, at the recommendation of the director.  She was lucky, very lucky to have a director who saw her potential and did not allow Bridget’s emotional “baggage” to cloud what she knew was important: take care of the person and the rest will come.

When Bridget returned to work, she – bravely- held a meeting and shared her journey.  Most of her staff were understanding and willing to start over.  Others had their own arcs of anger that Bridget would embrace as a new journey, just like her boss had done for her.

The agency was able to reclaim their license with Bridget’s new diplomatic process.  She created a new policy for all meetings that included listening to each individual who had something to input.  Bridget made it a priority to really “hear” the complaints and concerns of her staff and to help them make a better impact on the world with their own happiness.   Bridget was finally aligned, balanced and satisfied.

Photo by Oleg Magni on Pexels.com

What passion rocks your world?

Kat is a professional mentor, author, and women’s advocate who specializes in the art and science of Core Alignment, NeuroLinguistic Programming and Emotional Wisdom Training, and holds a certificate in the Psychology of Happiness.

She offers programs for life and business, featuring Women’s Enrichment Programs and Diversity in Business.Ask about her POW (Power of Wisdom) Tribes! kkohlerschwartz@gmail.com            314-359-2467

Photos from www.pexel.com

Calming the Terrier Mind for Better Focus and Balance

We all have our moments of distraction, right? Well, some of us have so many ideas, deadlines, and media recall running through our minds that distractions come easily, and sometimes with fatalities. Ever realize you drove home from work and don’t remember how you got there?  We have entered the realm of the terrier mind.

This is a quick guide to gather information on resources that could help you become more focused, mindful, and feel more grounded in your daily life.

Have you ever watched one? A terrier, that is. They are quick-witted little dogs that can catch your eye in a second, and that may all the time you get to actually see the cuteness. Terriers dart at anything that catches their attention: leaves falling; walnuts on the ground become toys; paper in the trash can; the merciless cats that “taunt” them; and, of course…squirrels. And they race until the sun goes down. Back and forth, back and forth, halting and darting to every sensory stimulus that sparks their mind.

My point is that our minds can be much like the terrier mind. Do you experience this? I do, at times. Especially as a writer! Ideas, ideas, everywhere ideas. So many ideas, so little time. And, I could write on and on about this topic…but! I will not bore you with that rabbit hole – which is a whole different subject. And, by the way, terriers do love rabbit holes!

Let’s take a gaze into a person’s life on the job. Emily is a senior manager at her lobbying firm. She worked hard to get there because of her keen attention to detail, her talent for vision, and her sense of focus. After five years, Emily had built several working teams, improved her bottomline, landed multiple accounts with top executive businesses, and managed to pull off Business Woman of the Year.

In her sixth year, something shifted for Emily. She was feeling worn out at the end of her usual twelve-hour day. She noticed that she had more than her fair share of colds and flu-bugs. Her mental and emotional fuses became short when people would ask her simple questions or ask her to do a presentation for an inquiring business. Emily could not seem to find the balance between work and home. She lost interest in working out and playing sports. Emily had finally succumbed to her terrier mind!

Few people can continue to multi-task, engage every thought, and be successful for very long. And even fewer people make it out alive (not kidding), never addressing the real cause and effect: terrier mind plus burnout equals health decline (sometimes heart attacks and other life limiting illnesses).

Anyone reading this blog is a talented person with a brilliant mind, yet something drew you to this particular article.  You guessed it! The terrier mind was at it again!!  So, what if you could train your terrier mind to have the focus  and balance you’ve longed for?  What difference would it make for you?  How would your life change?  Yep, that’s what I thought.  I’ll bet you could answer those questions very quickly!

So!  Where do we go from here?  There are many books on how to attain focus, zen meditations, years of counseling, massage and any of the arts that point to relaxation of the mind.  And, I am not discounting any of these services – they are needed and have certainly found their niche in personal wellness.  But, it takes a little more than a weekend or one session to discover and re-train a “mental program” that has been running in your head for some time.  This terrier mind can be re-trained!

In fact, to re-train your mind is not only essential to regaining balance and focus, it

Csíkszentmihályi, 2010- Courtesy of Wikipedia

is also beneficial for your health.  Remember the ads for senior citizens that tell the audience to get out and learn something new?  It is the same concept.  Engage in new thought patterns – live longer and healthier!

According to Mihaly Csíkszentmihályi, Hungarian-American psychologist, when focused on a task that brings happiness, one experiences “flow.”  It is a state of concentration where time and space become non-existent.  While many people do not work in jobs that bring this state, it becomes important to us to either choose a job that embraces a passion that we envision; or, train our minds to bring this sense of focus and flow to our existing life and work.

I know, as a writer, that I can write for hours, sometimes days, without realizing any sense of time, space or anything going on around me.  It is a place of complete focus and happiness.  This always been easy and natural for me.  The balance, however, I had to work on.  We can become so absorbed in this focus that other responsibilities can fall to the wayside.

So, what is the answer?  Remember the terrier mind and the re-training that I mentioned earlier?  Re-training the mind is possible through utilizing NeuroLinguistic Programming (NLP) and Emotional Wisdom Training (EWT).  These terms get thrown around a lot in social media and other big box advertising for coaching.  Here are some statements that sets NLP and EWT practices apart from others:

Kate Michels

1. A coach, mentor, or counselor (practitioner) who uses NLP or EWT (coined by Kate Michels, Psychologist) will only guide a client.  He/she does not suggest or re-train your mind for you.

2.  It is not hypnotherapy, but uses the same concept, except you are completely awake and conscious.  You are in control of the path you choose with your practitioner.

3. Re-training your mind for long term pattern change cannot be done in a weekend.  It took years for your beliefs and patterns to form so it takes a little time to re-train; sort of like learning to ride a bike again after years of not riding.

4.  Combined, EWT and NLP follow an artful method to practice with clients and the science to back it up.  EWT/NLP practitioners are trained in the cause and effect of emotions and the gentle way of assisting a client down those paths of former mental programs without dwelling in the emotion.   Outcomes are subtle, yet very powerful. Suddenly, one might realize that they are acting or speaking differently than before, for example.  They, also, realize that this is the path they chose and attained.

5.  Practitioners become adept at coaching/mentoring with practice.  Most schools do not offer a period of working with real clients in order to experience all types of behaviors.  It is also important to hire a NLP practitioner who also practices EWT.  Ask the questions.

6.  A client may work on one pattern of behavior at a time.  One cannot fix all mental programs in a few weeks.  The client chooses, with the practitioner, what they want to work on and the idea becomes the focus throughout the weeks of mentoring/coaching.

7.  Re-aligning the mind for focus and balance is a moderately timed methodical approach to lasting results

8.  Here are some quick resources:

Professional Mentoring   Schedule a free session with a Professional Mentor and experience the methods described in this blog.

Professional Coach Training:  Learn more about how to become a professional coach with training that focuses on the art, psychology, and scientific methods that bring results.

NLP Coaching Resource Search for a coach or mentor that best fits what you wish to change or improve

I took the methodical approach for myself and put in the time to re-train my mind through many limiting beliefs that I created over time, abuses that I experienced, and built up terrier mind thought processes that were not serving me, and were creating a field of illness all around me.  This was, and still is, time well spent to create a healthier outlook on life, healthier body, deeper sense of spirit, and experience the utmost – balance and happiness!

What passion rocks your world?

Kat is a Professional Success Catalyst  and Mind Alchemist who specializes in the art and science of Core Alignment, NeuroLinguistic Programming and Emotional Wisdom Training, and holds a certificate in the Psychology of Happiness.

She offers programs for life and business, featuring Women’s Enrichment Programs and Diversity in Business.

Ask about her POW (Power of Wisdom) Tribes! kat@taprootsforlife.com               929-333-4624

 

 

Join My Journey of the Mind!

In the past year, I have been exploring more of what makes business owners tick or dance to their own drum. I didn’t quite get it until I was challenged to switch gears in my own business…like…within 24 hours.

While I had been coaching small businesses owned by women over the past three and a half years, I was staying within the same circle of the 1-2 person business. My coach (yes, coaches have coaches, too) issued the task of creating a business model to service other businesses, big ones…like over 500 employee big ones!

After I hiccuped coffee on the front of myself, I responded with recuperated grace and sheepish response, “of course I want to grow my business, sir.” I laid out my best excuses, however, to defend my current success: “But, my current business model allows me to work from home, and I don’t believe I have the accounting background to coach large businesses, and I don’t, I don’t have enough experience or polish or …”

I had to stop myself from the now recognizable excuses that I was giving to a man who had died three times and lived to be a buff and robustly healthy- looking man; and, another man who was a millionaire from the time he was twenty-five. I realized that I was not going to get passed the two of them who were opening this glossy gate of opportunity that looked so intimidating.

The last word to my excuses, however, never flowed from my lips because it was this word that kept me back: COURAGE  Yep, with all that I have been through and experienced in my life, that word nearly rolled off my tongue. But, it didn’t. Not this time.

You see, this time, I caught myself in the midst of my “whining” and realized that for every excuse I gave my coaches, they had been there and came back from it. This is what we can receive from a great coach, and a great business owner. They’ve been there. This is why they help others. And the aha! moment came…this is why I coach others.  I have knowledge, experience and stories to help people and businesses take short cuts, just like my coaches were attempting to do with me!  

There is a spirit among us business owners that each time we face a challenge, we mentally spin first, then take the reigns and say,”giddyap!”  And guess what?  Each of us is… human: we have families, we have cub scouts, soccer games, aging parents, broken bones, arthritis, cancer, and lists and lists of things we need to accomplish.  There is a recognizable rhythm that each of us carries as we walk, talk, sleep and do.  It’s called passion.  This fire in our gut that gives us full steam ahead to meet the challenge.  It’s not for the faint of heart.

So, my friends, I am on this big journey to challenge myself, learn, and grow some courage to do something so huge that I never dreamed it could be so-o-o terrifying, yet so exciting to hop on this ride.

Are you with me on a similar journey? I won’t give away my secret mission until I accomplish it, and I will accomplish it.

Let’s do this together. Choose something that sparks your passion and puts a bit of fear in your gut. This is the beginning feeling, like when you are riding a roller coaster and are at the crest of the hill, knowing what is ahead. Well, this is just the beginning! There are many crests in the hill of trying something new, but letting the downward rush carry you is such a thrill.

What will your ride look like? Is it writing a book, learning the guitar, or sharpening your valuable skills into that business that you always wanted to pursue?

Come along with me. Walk on the wild side of this journey.
I now challenge you to take that big step. Clear the mind, take a deep breath and walk into the journey to mastery. Experience the flow as you do what feels right to you.

As I take on this challenge, I encourage those of you, who will follow to open a business, to hire two types of coaches: a business coach and a life coach  Each one offers a diverse set of skills, knowledge and approach.

For those who are not tight-rope walking dare devils, and want to just learn something new but have a resistance,  reach out to a Life Coach, a Voice Coach, a Real Estate Coach (yes, there is such a thing!), or any style of coach that helps you develop your skill, your confidence, and your yearning to keep trying something new or embrace change.  Do your homework in seeking a good coach and you will be enjoying that downward rush into upward growth, success and fulfillment in no time!

Sending you my most heartfelt wishes to many successes ahead!

~Kat

What passion rocks your world?

Kat is a Professional Success Catalyst who specializes in the art and science of Core Alignment, NeuroLinguistic Programming and Emotional Wisdom Training, and holds a certificate in the Psychology of Happiness.

She has helped many people realize their own potential, improve management skills,  build confidence, find balance, respond to stress, build effective teams, and more.

Kat’s practice spans the globe for English-speaking people.  Her passion is to help others think independently, creatively, and to grow from their experience

Taproots for Business

314-252-8781

kat@taprootsforlife.com

 

 

 

Taming the Chaos Dragon, and Finding Peace

Let’s call her Sarah:  “My kids are driving me nuts!  I took off work for this today!! My keys are locked in the car, I’m screaming for help, we are late to a doctor’s appointment, I’m banging my fists on the window because my 3-year old has locked the car. I can’t calm my kids down, ever! They never listen to me. This is my life every single day!”

And then, there is Nicholas: “My boss is always on my back. He finds every little thing wrong with my work, my outlook, my clothes.  He’s just a crazy old B@$!@rd that doesn’t know what he’s doing.  Why does this always seem to happen to me?  This is the third job in a row where the boss is just not respectful to me!” 

If we were to ask Sarah and Nicholas if this is what they want for their lives, we can be sure they would say, absolutely not!  These are real people that we meet every day.  Perhaps their scenario is a bit different, but the stressors are there – even in our own lives.  Every second!

Each day seems to add more frustration from the previous day, until you have built one giant Chaos Dragon!  It claws at you looking for more fodder to grow and destroy you, You have no choice but to give in, you say.

Let’s stop for a moment: If you give in, you give up.  If you keep going the same way, you keep feeding the dragon.  So, what is the solution, then?!  You say:  I’m about to crash here, and your talking about dragons.  Give me the scoop on how to be that Whisperer thingy!”

Okay.  Here you go!

Become the Chaos Dragon Whisperer by following these steps:

1.  Wield your Power: Know What you Want  

What lifestyle do I reeaallly want for myself?  What makes that important to me?  What will I have when I get the lifestyle I want?

Only state the positive ideas, and your vision of what you want.  Think of it as negative attracts negative and positive attracts positive.

There is power in handwriting out your vision on paper.

2.  Be Humble: ASK!  

The majority of you may skip this step, but it is the next important step to bringing peace to your life.

When you realize what you want, now it is time to ask for it.  Tell everyone what you want, ask them if they know someone who lives this lifestyle. Ask questions, be curious. Just talk about it!  It becomes reality, you’ll see.

3.  Command your Space: Show Up 

If you show up to a party and don’t dance or partake in the festivity, have you really shown up?

How do you show up for yourself?  When you find out what you want, what steps will you take to get there?  Then show up for each one, be present, BE the LIFESTYLE you want!  Is your life dream to be a barista at a coffee shop?  Then BE the barista!  Volunteer if you have to.  Step into the role.

4.  Push Onward: Keep your Promise  

When you tell a child that you promise them something, do they ever forget? No, they will hold you to it and not let you forget it…even months from now.

Now, let’s take that same strategy we had as kids and apply it to your current life.  Stay the course of the lifestyle you want.  Is it working on the beach from your laptop?  Create the beach, show up, keep your promise.

Do you keep promises to others; or, do you waffle and make excuses?  Aaah,  there it is.  If you cannot keep promises to others, how can you keep a promise to yourself?  Stay the course, my friend.  Stay the course.

5.  Be the Master: Be Grateful

There are health benefits to having gratitude in your life.  When we are healthy and aligned (think mind, body, spirit), we tend to take life less seriously.  We begin to notice this subtle shift in our lives that brings understanding and peace.  It is learning life mastery!

Many successful people talk about having gratitude in their day and how it helps them be mindful and present of what is really important in life.  Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, and John F. Kennedy, to name a few.

Peace and success are attainable by everyone, when we explore, discover, and act on these steps to tame the Chaos Dragon.

Life becomes more manageable and the ripple effect moves to our family, relationships, our workplace, and anyone we touch.  We become a voice for peace in our lives and it becomes natural.  People notice and internally say, “I want some of that!”  And you just beam, knowing that the Chaos Dragon is back in his cave and peace reigns in world, again.  You are the MASTER!

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Peace is possible for everyone!

Kat is a Professional Core Alignment Mentor who specializes in the art and science of NeuroLinguistic Programming and Emotional Wisdom Training.

She has helped many people realize their own potential, improve parenting, build confidence, respond more wisely to stress, and more.

Kat’s practice spans the globe for English-speaking people.  Her passion is to be a voice for peace and to help others understand, love, and live peaceful lives.