Calming the Terrier Mind for Better Focus and Balance

We all have our moments of distraction, right? Well, some of us have so many ideas, deadlines, and media recall running through our minds that distractions come easily, and sometimes with fatalities. Ever realize you drove home from work and don’t remember how you got there?  We have entered the realm of the terrier mind.

This is a quick guide to gather information on resources that could help you become more focused, mindful, and feel more grounded in your daily life.

Have you ever watched one? A terrier, that is. They are quick-witted little dogs that can catch your eye in a second, and that may all the time you get to actually see the cuteness. Terriers dart at anything that catches their attention: leaves falling; walnuts on the ground become toys; paper in the trash can; the merciless cats that “taunt” them; and, of course…squirrels. And they race until the sun goes down. Back and forth, back and forth, halting and darting to every sensory stimulus that sparks their mind.

My point is that our minds can be much like the terrier mind. Do you experience this? I do, at times. Especially as a writer! Ideas, ideas, everywhere ideas. So many ideas, so little time. And, I could write on and on about this topic…but! I will not bore you with that rabbit hole – which is a whole different subject. And, by the way, terriers do love rabbit holes!

Let’s take a gaze into a person’s life on the job. Emily is a senior manager at her lobbying firm. She worked hard to get there because of her keen attention to detail, her talent for vision, and her sense of focus. After five years, Emily had built several working teams, improved her bottomline, landed multiple accounts with top executive businesses, and managed to pull off Business Woman of the Year.Blurred Colored Lights

In her sixth year, something shifted for Emily. She was feeling worn out at the end of her usual twelve-hour day. She noticed that she had more than her fair share of colds and flu-bugs. Her mental and emotional fuses became short when people would ask her simple questions or ask her to do a presentation for an inquiring business. Emily could not seem to find the balance between work and home. She lost interest in working out and playing sports. Emily had finally succumbed to her terrier mind!

Few people can continue to multi-task, engage every thought, and be successful for very long. And even fewer people make it out alive (not kidding), never addressing the real cause and effect: terrier mind plus burnout equals health decline (sometimes heart attacks and other life limiting illnesses).

Anyone reading this blog is a talented person with a brilliant mind, yet something drew you to this particular article.  You guessed it! The terrier mind was at it again!!  So, what if you could train your terrier mind to have the focus  and balance you’ve longed for?  What difference would it make for you?  How would your life change?  Yep, that’s what I thought.  I’ll bet you could answer those questions very quickly!

So!  Where do we go from here?  There are many books on how to attain focus, zen meditations, years of counseling, massage and any of the arts that point to relaxation of the mind.  And, I am not discounting any of these services – they are needed and have certainly found their niche in personal wellness.  But, it takes a little more than a weekend or one session to discover and re-train a “mental program” that has been running in your head for some time.  This terrier mind can be re-trained!

In fact, to re-train your mind is not only essential to regaining balance and focus, it

Csíkszentmihályi, 2010- Courtesy of Wikipedia

is also beneficial for your health.  Remember the ads for senior citizens that tell the audience to get out and learn something new?  It is the same concept.  Engage in new thought patterns – live longer and healthier!

According to Mihaly Csíkszentmihályi, Hungarian-American psychologist, when focused on a task that brings happiness, one experiences “flow.”  It is a state of concentration where time and space become non-existent.  While many people do not work in jobs that bring this state, it becomes important to us to either choose a job that embraces a passion that we envision; or, train our minds to bring this sense of focus and flow to our existing life and work.

Glasses on Book-SketchI know, as a writer, that I can write for hours, sometimes days, without realizing any sense of time, space or anything going on around me.  It is a place of complete focus and happiness.  This always been easy and natural for me.  The balance, however, I had to work on.  We can become so absorbed in this focus that other responsibilities can fall to the wayside.

So, what is the answer?  Remember the terrier mind and the re-training that I mentioned earlier?  Re-training the mind is possible through utilizing NeuroLinguistic Programming (NLP) and Emotional Wisdom Training (EWT).  These terms get thrown around a lot in social media and other big box advertising for coaching.  Here are some statements that sets NLP and EWT practices apart from others:

Kate Michels

1. A coach, mentor, or counselor (practitioner) who uses NLP or EWT (coined by Kate Michels, Psychologist) will only guide a client.  He/she does not suggest or re-train your mind for you.

2.  It is not hypnotherapy, but uses the same concept, except you are completely awake and conscious.  You are in control of the path you choose with your practitioner.

3. Re-training your mind for long term pattern change cannot be done in a weekend.  It took years for your beliefs and patterns to form so it takes a little time to re-train; sort of like learning to ride a bike again after years of not riding.

4.  Combined, EWT and NLP follow an artful method to practice with clients and the science to back it up.  EWT/NLP practitioners are trained in the cause and effect of emotions and the gentle way of assisting a client down those paths of former mental programs without dwelling in the emotion.   Outcomes are subtle, yet very powerful. Suddenly, one might realize that they are acting or speaking differently than before, for example.  They, also, realize that this is the path they chose and attained.

5.  Practitioners become adept at coaching/mentoring with practice.  Most schools do not offer a period of working with real clients in order to experience all types of behaviors.  It is also important to hire a NLP practitioner who also practices EWT.  Ask the questions.

6.  A client may work on one pattern of behavior at a time.  One cannot fix all mental programs in a few weeks.  The client chooses, with the practitioner, what they want to work on and the idea becomes the focus throughout the weeks of mentoring/coaching.

7.  Re-aligning the mind for focus and balance is a moderately timed methodical approach to lasting results

8.  Here are some quick resources:

Professional Mentoring   Schedule a free session with a Professional Mentor and experience the methods described in this blog.

Professional Coach Training:  Learn more about how to become a professional coach with training that focuses on the art, psychology, and scientific methods that bring results.

NLP Coaching Resource Search for a coach or mentor that best fits what you wish to change or improve

I took the methodical approach for myself and put in the time to re-train my mind through many limiting beliefs that I created over time, abuses that I experienced, and built up terrier mind thought processes that were not serving me, and were creating a field of illness all around me.  This was, and still is, time well spent to create a healthier outlook on life, healthier body, deeper sense of spirit, and experience the utmost – balance and happiness!

What passion rocks your world?

Kat is a Professional Success Catalyst  and Mind Alchemist who specializes in the art and science of Core Alignment, NeuroLinguistic Programming and Emotional Wisdom Training, and holds a certificate in the Psychology of Happiness.

She offers programs for life and business, featuring Women’s Enrichment Programs and Diversity in Business.

Ask about her POW (Power of Wisdom) Tribes!               929-333-4624




Join My Journey of the Mind!

In the past year, I have been exploring more of what makes business owners tick or dance to their own drum. I didn’t quite get it until I was challenged to switch gears in my own business…like…within 24 hours.

While I had been coaching small businesses owned by women over the past three and a half years, I was staying within the same circle of the 1-2 person business. My coach (yes, coaches have coaches, too) issued the task of creating a business model to service other businesses, big ones…like over 500 employee big ones!


After I hiccuped coffee on the front of myself, I responded with recuperated grace and sheepish response, “of course I want to grow my business, sir.” I laid out my best excuses, however, to defend my current success: “But, my current business model allows me to work from home, and I don’t believe I have the accounting background to coach large businesses, and I don’t, I don’t have enough experience or polish or …”

I had to stop myself from the now recognizable excuses that I was giving to a man who had died three times and lived to be a buff and robustly healthy- looking man; and, another man who was a millionaire from the time he was twenty-five. I realized that I was not going to get passed the two of them who were opening this glossy gate of opportunity that looked so intimidating.

The last word to my excuses, however, never flowed from my lips because it was this word that kept me back: COURAGE  Yep, with all that I have been through and experienced in my life, that word nearly rolled off my tongue. But, it didn’t. Not this time.

You see, this time, I caught myself in the midst of my “whining” and realized that for every excuse I gave my coaches, they had been there and came back from it. This is what we can receive from a great coach, and a great business owner. They’ve been there. This is why they help others. And the aha! moment came…this is why I coach others.  I have knowledge, experience and stories to help people and businesses take short cuts, just like my coaches were attempting to do with me!  pexels-photo-935870.jpeg

There is a spirit among us business owners that each time we face a challenge, we mentally spin first, then take the reigns and say,”giddyap!”  And guess what?  Each of us is… human: we have families, we have cub scouts, soccer games, aging parents, broken bones, arthritis, cancer, and lists and lists of things we need to accomplish.  There is a recognizable rhythm that each of us carries as we walk, talk, sleep and do.  It’s called passion.  This fire in our gut that gives us full steam ahead to meet the challenge.  It’s not for the faint of heart.

So, my friends, I am on this big journey to challenge myself, learn, and grow some courage to do something so huge that I never dreamed it could be so-o-o terrifying, yet so exciting to hop on this ride.

Are you with me on a similar journey? I won’t give away my secret mission until I accomplish it, and I will accomplish it.

Buddhist Monks on Roller CoasterLet’s do this together. Choose something that sparks your passion and puts a bit of fear in your gut. This is the beginning feeling, like when you are riding a roller coaster and are at the crest of the hill, knowing what is ahead. Well, this is just the beginning! There are many crests in the hill of trying something new, but letting the downward rush carry you is such a thrill.

What will your ride look like? Is it writing a book, learning the guitar, or sharpening your valuable skills into that business that you always wanted to pursue?

Come along with me. Walk on the wild side of this journey.
I now challenge you to take that big step. Clear the mind, take a deep breath and walk into the journey to mastery. Experience the flow as you do what feels right to you.

As I take on this challenge, I encourage those of you, who will follow to open a business, to hire two types of coaches: a business coach and a life coach  Each one offers a diverse set of skills, knowledge and approach.

For those who are not tight-rope walking dare devils, and want to just learn something new but have a resistance,  reach out to a Life Coach, a Voice Coach, a Real Estate Coach (yes, there is such a thing!), or any style of coach that helps you develop your skill, your confidence, and your yearning to keep trying something new or embrace change.  Do your homework in seeking a good coach and you will be enjoying that downward rush into upward growth, success and fulfillment in no time!

Sending you my most heartfelt wishes to many successes ahead!


What passion rocks your world?

Kat is a Professional Success Catalyst who specializes in the art and science of Core Alignment, NeuroLinguistic Programming and Emotional Wisdom Training, and holds a certificate in the Psychology of Happiness.

She has helped many people realize their own potential, improve management skills,  build confidence, find balance, respond to stress, build effective teams, and more.

Kat’s practice spans the globe for English-speaking people.  Her passion is to help others think independently, creatively, and to grow from their experience

Taproots for Business





Taming the Chaos Dragon, and Finding Peace

Let’s call her Sarah:  “My kids are driving me nuts!  I took off work for this today!! My keys are locked in the car, I’m screaming for help, we are late to a doctor’s appointment, I’m banging my fists on the window because my 3-year old hpexels-photo-133021.jpegas locked the car. I can’t calm my kids down, ever! They never listen to me. This is my life every single day!”

And then, there is Nicholas: “My boss is always on my back. He finds every little thing wrong with my work, my outlook, my clothes.  He’s just a crazy old B@$!@rd that doesn’t know what he’s doing.  Why does this always seem to happen to me?  This is the third job in a row where the boss is just not respectful to me!” man-people-office-writing.jpg

If we were to ask Sarah and Nicholas if this is what they want for their lives, we can be sure they would say, absolutely not!  These are real people that we meet every day.  Perhaps their scenario is a bit different, but the stressors are there – even in our own lives.  Every second!


Each day seems to add more frustration from the previous day, until you have built one giant Chaos Dragon!  It claws at you looking for more fodder to grow and destroy you, You have no choice but to give in, you say.

Let’s stop for a moment: If you give in, you give up.  If you keep going the same way, you keep feeding the dragon.  So, what is the solution, then?!  You say:  I’m about to crash here, and your talking about dragons.  Give me the scoop on how to be that Whisperer thingy!”

Okay.  Here you go!

Become the Chaos Dragon Whisperer by following these steps:

1.  Wield your Power: Know What you Want  pexels-photo-462353.jpeg

What lifestyle do I reeaallly want for myself?  What makes that important to me?  What will I have when I get the lifestyle I want?

quote-chalk-think-words.jpgOnly state the positive ideas, and your vision of what you want.  Think of it as negative attracts negative and positive attracts positive.

There is power in handwriting out your vision on paper.

2.  Be Humble: ASK!  pexels-photo-221164.jpeg

The majority of you may skip this step, but it is the next important step to bringing peace to your life.

When you realize what you want, now it is time to ask for it.  Tell everyone what you want, ask them if they know someone who lives this lifestyle. Ask questions, be curious. Just talk about it!  It becomes reality, you’ll see.

3.  Command your Space: Show Up  business-innovation-money-icon-40218.jpeg

If you show up to a party and don’t dance or partake in the festivity, have you really shown up?

How do you show up for yourself?  When you find out what you want, what steps will you take to get there?  Then show up for each one, be present, BE the LIFESTYLE you want!  Is your life dream to be a barista at a coffee shop?  Then BE the barista!  Volunteer if you have to.  Step into the role.

4.  Push Onward: Keep your Promise  pexels-photo-669986.jpeg

When you tell a child that you promise them something, do they ever forget? No, they will hold you to it and not let you forget it…even months from now.

Now, let’s take that same strategy we had as kids and apply it to your current life.  Stay the course of the lifestyle you want.  Is it working on the beach from your laptop?  Create the beach, show up, keep your promise.

Do you keep promises to others; or, do you waffle and make excuses?  Aaah,  there it is.  If you cannot keep promises to others, how can you keep a promise to yourself?  Stay the course, my friend.  Stay the course.

5.  Be the Master: Be Gratefulpexels-photo-424517.jpeg

There are health benefits to having gratitude in your life.  When we are healthy and aligned (think mind, body, spirit), we tend to take life less seriously.  We begin to notice this subtle shift in our lives that brings understanding and peace.  It is learning life mastery!

Many successful people talk about having gratitude in their day and how it helps them be mindful and present of what is really important in life.  Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, and John F. Kennedy, to name a few.

Peace and success are attainable by everyone, when we explore, discover, and act on these steps to tame the Chaos Dragon.

Life becomes more manageable and the ripple effect moves to our family, relationships, our workplace, and anyone we touch.  We become a voice for peace in our lives and it becomes natural.  People notice and internally say, “I want some of that!”  And you just beam, knowing that the Chaos Dragon is back in his cave and peace reigns in world, again.  You are the MASTER!



Peace is possible for everyone!

Kat is a Professional Core Alignment Mentor who specializes in the art and science of NeuroLinguistic Programming and Emotional Wisdom Training.

She has helped many people realize their own potential, improve parenting, build confidence, respond more wisely to stress, and more.

Kat’s practice spans the globe for English-speaking people.  Her passion is to be a voice for peace and to help others understand, love, and live peaceful lives.


Leadership: InPower? or EMpower?

With the recent occurrences in our world, I felt compelled to write about the attributes of a true leader in any situation, whether it be in our family, at school, at work, social networks and other places where leadership can elevate or sabotage an event or situation.

In my years of management, I experienced empowering mentors and ineffective mentors.  While the empowering mentors helped me grow, the ineffective ones also taught me a lot about growth in a different manner.

I will share a couple stories that bring out the qualities that make someone ineffective as a leader in an organization, and share other stories that create a spark in the consciousness that make people come alive in a work setting.

file8841263254299I was already a single mom in my 20’s, a budding manager,and excited to help people succeed. I knew I had a lot to learn and looked up to my superiors to teach me the ropes.  What I quickly learned was that not all managers were effective.

Maureen (not her real name) was an experienced nurse in her prime years of care for patients.  She partnered with another nurse and created a successful hospice service to patients experiencing end of life.

Maureen shared with me that the only reason she became a nurse was that she was forced by her parents to choose a profession and that it was mandatory that she attend a prestigious college.  Her decision was to become a nurse because it was the shortest path to gaining a degree that her parents desired for her. This was Maureen’s path.

I attended my interview Maureen and her partner, complete with suit, pumps, and pad and paper for notes. I answered their questions and shared my experience.  I liked the diversity of the two personalities and enjoyed the short conversation.  I walked away from the interview not knowing if I was hired.  Two days later, I received the call:  “You’re hired.”

In my five years with this organization, I created better communication, scheduling practices, and earned the owners’ trust in running the organization in their absence.  But, then the abuse arrived at my door like a thief in the night.

Maureen lived in a world of fear, hatred, and self-doubt.  She was used to gettangry-womaning what she wanted no matter how unrealistic or painful it was for others around her.  She stomped her feat, screamed, and slammed doors.  This was her management style.  The company’s turnover hovered around 75%.  But, I was not a quitter.

I soon became known by my peers as the “whipping post” for everything that went wrong, even though I was not technically overseeing anything, except those I oversaw in a closely controlled, loosely described supervisory role.  I knew this would be the case, but I was just learning and at the bottom rungs of my career.  I could take a little abuse (I had already been there, I thought, with an abusive husband).

One day, Maureen, came to me and openly reversed on a principle that she made known to everyone in the organization.  She told me to do something morally wrong that served her purpose to appear “large” in the eyes of a client, who was well-known in the community.

file4781300045861Humbly, I repeated her principle back to her and she came unglued. Big mistake on my part. Her arms began flailing in the air, her eyes on fire, feet stomping, and her voice raged like the fury of a mother jaguar.  She came at me, all five feet of scrambled wildness to my five foot nine.  She wrinkled her face, lunged up at me, and screamed for over five minutes.  After a minute, it was like hearing the teacher in Charlie Brown cartoons: “wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.”  Then…silence came.  I drew in a deep breath and without a beat,  calmly asked her if she was finished and said, ” Thank you, may I get back to work, now?”

Maureen spiraled around in a fit of flames, stomped to her office and flung the door shut, creating a jarring slam that I am convinced woke the dead.   Nothing was resolved, and I was still sitting with a dilemma that could have lost us a very valuable account.

This was my first experience with a manager who had no respect for herself or others. She never took time to understand a person or situation before losing her true identity as a caring person (who was, sadly, lost).  There is more to this story, but I digress and put this one on a shelf to tell you about an effective manager.

About ten years later, I was hired as a manager to an international organization that provided internal service to hospitals.  I worked for seven years before making it to corporate management.  Just prior to getting there, I was under the direction of a boss who looked out for people. He helped them become successful.  He asked their opinions, offered engagement in processes.  He valued the people who worked with him. He went by the name Garvey.

Garvey took time with me when I was frustrated that I could not get buy-in from the teams on some of my projects.  He taught me about people and the importance of meeting them where they are.  Further, he saw something in me that I knew, but never really took it to heart.

Garvey asked me, “Do you believe that leaders are created or born?”  I truly believed that leaders could be both.  I believed there were leaders who were ineffective – think Hitler – and those who empowered others -think Mother Teresa.   Garvey and I got along quite well, and he became my professional mentor.  He helped me learn how to take over his job.  I came from the same school of thought – teach others to be at least as successful as me.

One day, I was called into Garvey’s conference room “office.” He traveled to multiple locations within the region.  He said, “shut the door and lock it behind you, we are going to have a discussion.”  Needless to say, I was very concerned. Very…

“Kat,” Garvey said, “I want you to know some things about your management style and what you do with your skills.” Now, I was seriously contemplating handing him a resignation.  “You possess the skills of a leader that I have not seen in a long time.”  As I wiped the sweat from my brow and shook my head, I felt myself looking around to see who he was talking to.  I relaxed into the conversation.

Garvey was talking in a very serious manner.  He had my attention.  “You will be the next regional manager,” he said.  I was speechless.  The silence felt like hours.  I gulped and responded, “But, Garvey, I have no formal degree, or any accounting background, or…”

“Stop,” he said.  “Hear me out. You possess the qualities of a good leader.  You’re not perfect, but you know it.  You set a standard, hold people accountable, but teach them how to be successful. These are the signs of a true leader in my book.”

I nearly cried to hear these words, especially since I recalled the prior conversation when he informed me of his belief that leaders were born.  He really believed that!  So, I sucked up my “girliness” and choked back the tears.  I began to feel my confidence rise with his words.  I felt like I had real purpose in this huge company where employee’s ambitions easily became homogenized, for lack of solid managers to support them.

Later in the year, Garvey retired, and the next director called me into his office.  He said the familiar words I learned about leadership, and I was promoted to the next regional manager -over thirteens states.  My time with Garvey, and other effective mentors along the way, had been fruitful.  I put in the work and it paid off.


Today, I  have learned so many lessons: from others, and my own shortcomings, as well as the celebrated successes in life and business.  I am now an empowered woman in her golden years, still leading with my love for people and helping them get to a place that brings empowerment to their own lives- a place of happiness and freedom.  I am ever so grateful for the people like Maureen and Garvey who taught me so much about the person I’ve always wanted to be.



When we empower ourselves, we have completed our own  basic need for attention, the need to feel validated or heard.  We begin to see ourselves in others’ eyes, seeing our own places of opportunity while being grateful to be in the presence of these teachers in our lives.

Nurturing Voices to be Heard

Kat is a Professional Core Alignment Mentor who specializes in the art and science of NeuroLinguistic Programming and Emotional Wisdom Training.

She has helped many people realize their own potential, improve parenting, build confidence, respond more wisely to stress, and more.

Kat’s practice spans the globe for English-speaking people.  Her passion is helping people awaken the light of wisdom within themselves to live a life of joy.









The Silver Lining of my Soul

This week, I was blessed with a visit from a young lady, named Bella, who is about to start her life in the adult world.  She expressed her fears of becoming an adult.  Bella’s fears were simple and reminiscent of when I was her age.   I listened intently as her youthful light shone through her eyes.

Abstract Collage-Woman-Wings

While Bella was excited to step out into the life she had created so far, she was terrified of “growing up.”  Bella feared responsibility and independence because it seemingly lacked freedom from this young view.  She had seen so many of her friends fail at the forefront of their careers and family life.  Bella saw the struggles of her married friends as young parents trying to make ends meet. It all seemed so confining from experiences of life she lived as a child.

But, Bella lent me some insight to her worries,  because I began to recall the same worries at her tender age, and, now in my late 50’s those fears and obstacles were shadows of the past.  However, this young curious woman gave me a new view:  There is more information for this generation than ever before.  Information that can assist them in taking short cuts:  blogs, search engines, libraries, videos, and…the wisdom from their elders.

When Bella came to me, her words made me realize that I had grown into my own wisdom that she sought for herself.  I was flattered.  As we emerged from our chat, mentor to client, we began our curious conversation toward her new outlook on life.

It is to young Bella, I dedicate the poem I wrote this morning.  These words for the little wisdom I had when I was young, facing one tragedy after another; yet, it was not all for nothing as I realized much later in life.

My life and its striving moments has meant something.  And now I see the great moments that have brought me courage, curiosity, and a new vigor for life.  I share this with Bella and see a bright future where she will share the same to inspire others.

I hop0f0d060d4e0cb3ce3c17409e4246694ee this poem will inspire you in some way with just a thought that will bring light to your day.

In my youth, I would fear:
That I will grow old
My body will falter
My hair will  gray
My eyes will  fail
My hearing will wane
I will walk bent over
My hands will tremble
My face will sag
I will forget things
My speech will lag.

In my Golden Years I Know:women-1013116_1920
There’s a new world each day
Filled with hope and surprise
I am thankful for each moment
My eyes are able to see
I am grateful for each day
I feel and I love
I find joy in seeing youth grow
In my heart and in my soul
My body is not important
Because my spirit flows free

The young person in me only saw the outer cover of the core of who I was.  I wanted things, I saw things, I feared things.  There was a lack of love for myself, confidence was low, and my vision was cloudy.   I felt I deserved nothing, but if I looked good no one would notice…never leaving the house without a smile, or nice clothes, or showing up with make-up being perfect, covering the internal…and external…bruises.


I walked through life only as a shadow of what the world brought to me.  I would react to its harshness,  because, truthfully, my ego was on a mountain shouting its anger and fear.  I traded dignity for ways to be heard and acknowledged, attempting to feel fulfilled.  Life brought some really tough lessons, because I did not really pause to listen to my inner wisdom.  To listen to that voice that had been telling me that this is not who you really are.

Mother Nature and the world around saw where I was headed, and it was disastrous.  Failed relationships, lack of direction, no faith in any higher power. I was broken and felt alone.  My children suffered, my parents suffered, my friends left me, and I was alone in the darkness with my empty self.

The only hope I held was that my children, and grandchildren to follow, would not suffer as I did.  I would educate them on what they should and should not do.  I would shelter them from harm at any diversion in the road of life.

But…as I grew older, I began to understand that life is what you create.  When my children left home to live their own lives, I began to ponder what was important. What would my life now look like?  How would I now shelter my children and my grandchildren from the harm of making rash decisions?

I didn’t know what that life looked like until I learned that my entire life had already been lived from my soul.  Many times I did not recognize it for the shadows of my superficial material world.  It was important to me to look good, even though I was living in a vacuum of self-destruction.  I drank, disrespected my body, slept a lot, and starved myself of self-love and respect. I was unhappy with my life, unhappy with me.


My experience of knowing the wisdom and living it and, knowing the wisdom and rejecting it was the key to the answer of how I lived my life to this day.  The days that I rejected my own wisdom were the days that were so dark and so dreary that I could not see the truth in myself.  The truth that I was a loving, deserving, confident single mother, who loved life and the people in it.  At the time, I missed the message.

My children were my hope for the future.  But, what was I teaching them?  It was a long road of self-discovery.  I sought the wisdom of a Catholic priest and I scheduled counseling for myself and children.   My children had become my teachers.  I did not always make wise decisions for them, and we all learned the hard way.   I began to observe their behaviors at school, with their friends and at home.  This life wasn’t what I wanted for them.

One evening, I found myself in a bar that was, well, not a very reputable place for men, let alone women.  The women who visited this place were hard, did time, and drank…a lot.  I had become friends with the bar tender because I had become her confidante for her personal and work life problems.  People at this place somehow thought I had it “all together, ”  to trust me with their hard luck stories. I didn’t care, I just wanted someone to talk to.  Anyone, just anyone who didn’t need a diaper change, a medical treatment to breathe (a son with Cystic Fibrosis), or want something more than I could provide.

As I sat there on the bar stool talking with Mel (Bartender),  a “old” grade school buddy sat beside me.  He sat in silence for awhile without addressing me.  We were classmates at a Catholic grade school.   Finally, Bill looked over at me, as he gulped down a swig of beer.  “Girl, what are you doing here?”  I responded with my cheeky answer, “having a beer, why?”  Bill looked at me with his concerning brown eyes, “Sweet girl, you do not belong in a place like this.  Come with me.”  I felt ashamed and allowed Bill to lead me out the door.

Bill drove me to his home, nearby.  He poured a glass of wine and we toasted to old memories.  At the end of the short evening, he leaned over and looked me closely in the eyes.  “Will you promise me that you will never go back to that place, again? You deserve better.  Your kids deserve a mom who is there for them. You are not that kind of a girl.”

Bill squeezed my shoulders in a deep, loving hug – like a father would give.  I left Bill’s place that night, wondering what it was that I was missing.  I was so confused about who I was, I wasn’t raised this way.  I left that evening, however, with a sense of comfort, knowing that my  true friends looked out for me when I most needed it.  Bill was such a friend.

Prior to that evening, I had many opportunities to wake up and pull it together, but it was Bill’s words that stung so hard “you are not that kind of a girl.”  What kind of girl had I become?  As I repeated the thought in my head, it ran deeper and deeper into my core so deep that I cried for hours over what I was really doing versus who I knew my self to be.  I had been wandering down a path of fire on both sides, wavering from side to side in a state of subconscious regret, fear, anger.  It was burning me up alive, mentally, emotionally, and physically.


Bill saved my life that night.  There were so many ways I could have gone, but I finally listened to the words that I had heard over and over at that god-forsaken bar.  But, because Bill and I were friends, it became glaringly clear to hear it from his mouth.

It was not long after my seemingly coincidental visit with Bill, that I began to pull my life together.  I was not only dressing nicely on the outside, I took care of my inside (my soul).  My mind had somehow relaxed when I accepted what I heard from Bill.  It was all, by no means, a mistake or coincidence.  I began to listen to my surroundings and become aware of what was falling down around me.  I was realizing that I was responsible for my own future, this current life didn’t have to be this way.

As my mind became clearer on what I wanted, events began to occur.  I was referred by my former boss to another company and my career began to take off.  My confidence began to strengthen, I was smiling more.  Conflicts did not seem to bother me, as they once did.


My successes became more frequent, my children were happier, I met a loving man.  These were miracles that came to my life with just one conversation and tuning my attention to what was really important to me.

I did not do this all alone, however.  I can not imagine taking on such a personal growth without guidance from someone who really cared about my welfare.  I found ways to afford counselors, coaches, and massage therapists.  I wanted to bring holistic approach to the value of my healing.

Even now, as I move toward 60 years old, I seek coaches and mentors who bring a holistic approach to my ongoing journey as a confident, loving, and caring wise woman who wants the same for everyone on this planet.  I have learned that no one is broken, they just have different information; and, gathering information gives us the best chance in making the best possible decisions for our lives as we are all learning how to live from our souls.woman-570883_1920

So, Bella, as you read this message, I smile and see your bright and shiny future that lies ahead like a diamond lit path.  There will be flaws in the diamonds, but it is there you will find your strengths and truths.  Ask questions, be curious, for it is also there that you will find your wisdom within.  It is in those moments that we truly shine in our vulnerability, standing out with love in our heart, that we find the silver lining to our soul’s purpose and speak from our voice of wisdom.


Kat is a Professional Core Alignment Mentor who specializes in the art and science of NeuroLinguistic Programming and Emotional Wisdom Training.

She has helped many people realize their own potential, improve parenting, build confidence, respond more wisely to stress, and more.

Kat’s practice spans the globe for English-speaking people.  Her passion is helping people awaken the light of wisdom within themselves to live a life of joy.















Mind Power!

As a Professional Core Alignment Mentor, I find that one of the many quandaries people face when asked what they want is that they really don’t know.   I may then ask someone, “What is important to you?”  They might answer, “My family is important to me, my financial security, health.”    A few might give a first response of, “Wow, that’s a tough question, I really don’t know.”  So, most people know what is important to them, but do they really know what they want?


When I was a child, I dreamed of things I would do if I didn’t have parents around telling me what to do.  While this seems like I was against my parents, it was an innocent place in the mind of a child.  If I didn’t have chores, or didn’t have to babysit my siblings, or had a car to go wherever I wanted, I could really BE somebody.  Yeah, that’s what I want, to be somebody.  

At the time, I was too young to realize that being somebody was already in the formative process and that I was being a little too impatient in that journey.  But, not knowing that information didn’t stop me from dreaming or beginning to write and sketch them out on paper.

While on a vacation in 1973, I sat in the backseat of my parents station wagon with my five younger siblings.  It was an hour trip, so I decided to pull out my sketch pad and draw what was hanging in my mind for awhile.  I wanted to capture this image or it would fade from memory.  I began to sketch what my dream house would look like.  I was fourteen.

When I was seven, I knew that I wanted to help people in some way when I grew up.  I wrote to the missionaries serving in foreign countries, and gave my allowance to help starving children.  I didn’t know what I would do to help people in my future, but knew in my heart that this “spoke” to me.

My parents built a solid foundation of parenting their children with strong convictions to faith and loyalty to family.   Creativity was encouraged in our family.  The artistic roots ran deep and rich with music, quilt making, medicine making, healing, writing,  painting, cooking, and farming.  bonfire-1867275_1920

Dreaming, however, was not talked about.  Dreams were “out there” and reality was “here.”   The consensus was that you were born into your work or just got a job to make money; and, that miracles only happened back in “spiritual history” times.

Jump forward to 1994.  I married my second husband in the summer of 1992, and we had settled in to a nice house in the suburbs of St. Louis.  In the hot summer of ’94, the kids were away visiting their father.  My husband and I decided to take this time to finally sort through our belongings to consolidate boxes that we had not completed when we moved into our house.

I located a large box that contained a number of memorabilia from my childhood.  I found the sketch of my childhood dream house.  I called my husband over to look at it.  He said, “Cool!  When did you have time to draw that?”  I replied, “I drew this when I was fourteen.”

“No way!” my husband shouted.  I was taken back by his response, misunderstanding that he thought I couldn’t have possibly had the talent to draw such a picture.

“What do you mean?”

” I mean that, well…come let me show you.”  With sketch in hand and with excitement, he pulled me down our hallway and through the front door.  He guided me to stand on the street and look at our house.  Well, readers: you tell me, does this look like the house I sketched when I was fourteen?


Our minds are an amazing phenomenon.  Science is still researching how our minds are capable of guiding our future, our bodies, and our healing.  This much I know:  any time I wrote down what I wanted, I received it.  And, people who use their mind as their power are typically highly successful people.  They create bucket lists, they draw pictures, make collages of what they truly want to pursue.

Not everyone knows what they want, so it takes the guidance of a teacher, a counselor, friend, or an educated mentor/coach, to help us to explore what is really important and possible in our lives.  Finding miracles that are already there waiting for us to uncover.

Some of you might say, “Well, you did it Kat, without a coach.”  My answer is, partially yes.  Along the way, I hired mentors and coaches who helped me get answers for the things I wanted in life for me and for my family.   It wasn’t until two years ago that I had come full circle from my seven year old desire to help others in a profound way.

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.” ~ Oprah

Remember my story about when I was seven?  In the raw stages of our development, our minds are wide open to dreams, learning, and filtering.  We are aligned with our mind, body and spirit, taking notes and storing it for future use.  My mind held that deep belief that I would some day help people in extraordinary ways.

Today,  I help people to overcome their fears, anxieties and barriers and to live a life of understanding with peace of mind and the grounded feeling of joy.  Mentoring causes a ripple effect in people’s lives.  My experiences become the teacher and my mind remembers a beautiful, lasting legacy of who I was and who I have become.  I still create in my mind of who I profess to be and will always work towards being my best to serve others.  This is my dream and my miracle.

I wish you all the best you can be with the information you have; make your lists and bring mind power to your world!!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAKat is a Professional Core Alignment Mentor who specializes in the art and science of NeuroLinguistic Programming and Emotional Wisdom Training.

She has helped many people realize their own potential, improve parenting, build confidence, respond more wisely to stress, and more.

Kat’s practice spans the globe for English-speaking people.  Her passion is helping people awaken the light of wisdom within themselves to live a life of joy.






I Will NEVER Lose!

Over the weekend, I met with family and friends in celebration of the holidays of Easter and Passover.  Many curious and interesting conversations occurred, along with an occasional “we’ll agree to disagree” discussion, as family tends to engage at times.

At the Kohler house, our family frequently likes to put our competitiveness to test on the dining room table with a game of Mexican train dominoes.  Why it is called that, I’ll never know, but the difference is that you create the chain of dominoes from a hub instead of one domino and that several chains can be played.  Nonetheless, it becomes seemingly more competitive than regular dominoes- which is par for our family.Dominoes

Even six year old little Vivi is playing this game, now.  She is gradually establishing where her role lies in the world of teens and adults in our family, as she is the youngest grandchild and the rest are at least 6 years older than her.    She has learned some difficult lessons about winning and losing in childhood games and now has come to face the “big guns” in a wild game of Mexican train dominoes.  She knows the stakes are high, because winning could fuel her position as the youngest, but most daring and powerful in this family of die-hard competitors.

Grandma played the game, too. And, as grandmas do she helped Vivi at first.  Until….Grandma found out how “up-on-the-game” Vivi had become.  She was now competing on the same level as the adults!   Vivi’s biggest competitor?  Her eleven year-old cousin Zach.  He was ferociously driven to win.  Vivi knew this, so she would focus mindfully on his every calculated move. You win Cap

At times throughout the game there was a waxing and waning of who might be the next winner.   Grandma would have less dominoes, then Vivi had two left, but Zach had one.  This went on for about 10 minutes.  Everyone on the table thought Zach would win, but his mother…at the last minute, snatched up the last move and won – even when Aunt Kat tried to help Vivi with the last move she had left.

sadgirlVivi hung her head in defeat.  This was a big game for her.  Everyone re-assured her that there is more than one loss in the game.  She eventually came around and broke a little smile.  Zach then proudly announced, “I never lose, I just haven’t won yet!”   The silence was golden as everyone was pondering his proclamation.  We broke into laughter and I looked over at Zach and said, “Zach, that is a very healthy way to look at it.  I may use that in my blog this week, and help my clients see a new positive way of losing when the chips are down.”   He merely smiled sheepishly, as he realized he said something very profound.

From the mouths of babes, as the old phrase goes, we find such rich unleashed thought if we merely listen and allow our internal self-doubt chatter to relax.  From the time we are infants we begin to build belief patterns, such as “I’ll never measure up, I’ll never be enough, or I’ll never win.”   These are created from experiences, whether good, tragic, or indifferent, when we formed our opinions and beliefs about occurrences.  Our feelings are real, but may or may not define what truly happened.  Did we not measure up because we felt that someone else should have met our expectations, only to allow ourselves to be let down?

In the case of the domino game, the players at the table were engaged to win.  They had a healthy attitude and the adults and older child had many experiences of losing when the six year old only had a few.  The six year old utilized her experiences of losing to protect her ego by appearing disgruntled and making snarky remarks.

Can you relate to this story?  I can.  I recall many times in my past when I felt defeated, put upon by others, feeling the rug pulled out from under me and side-swiped by others remarks or just felt like a loser.  And…this feeling is not limited to six-year olds!

Zach’s response in end of the game made me think of how many of times I hear the negative side of someone feeling down or like they lost at life.  My understanding of Zach’s perspective was that he was choosing not to lose, but to learn that he can take away information from the game towards his next win.

Zach was not always a good sport about losing, but has learned quickly through a method of positive reinforcement (most likely from his parents), that he can change how he responds to challenging situations.  It becomes empowering.

Most kids start out with an idea of what winning means.  This has been influenced by outside factors such as peers, teachers, siblings, parenting, family cultures, and media. Over time, as they grow and add more to their memory bank of experiences, the mind begins to form opinions and beliefs based on those occurrences and surrounding  influences.

Kids sharing icecreamWhen a continuous flow of positive reinforcement in the family exists, healthier responses take place and there is a different flow in the household.  One of my parent clients have described this flow as an indescribable calm at the dinner table.  She has been a client for nearly a year, and has seen a difference in her family dynamics when she was able to change her own thought process to better parenting.

My client has made comments like, “my life is a lot less stressful,” and “I now feel at peace with myself and have a new sense of confidence [as a parent].”   board-142741_1920

Remember six year old Vivi?  After the game, her snarkiness subsided and losing didn’t seem so bad, afterall.  Thank you, Zach!




Kat is a Professional Core Alignment Mentor who specializes in the art and science of NeuroLinguistic Programming and Emotional Wisdom Training.

She has helped many people realize their own potential, improve parenting, build confidence,  respond more wisely to stress, and more.

Kat’s practice spans the globe for English-speaking people.  Her passion is helping people find the light of wisdom within themselves to live a life of joy.




The Voices of Truth

Do you ever feel like you are not heard?  In conversations do people talk over you?  Do others in your circle of friends respond or engage in what you are saying? Do you feel voiceless?

Here is the news:  It’s not about them!

What is it, then,  that you want people to hear?

In a cab3b650e3f1e0e88ccec3e45c13b168b6sual conversation,  the subject matter may be something that you are not necessarily interested in, but you join in for the sake of participation.  You respond to someone’s story.  No one acknowledges your comment.  You feel disconnected, disrespected, put out, shunned, and the mental spin cycle moves out of control.  The voices begin:  “They don’t like me, I’m stupid, I don’t fit in, they never hear me, they don’t even try to include me.”

And then…one day you see your neighbor watering her roses.  You begin to talk about the weather, the old crabby man down the street, the naughty dog who wees on your lawn. There is conversation, and an exchange of sorts. Engaging comes naturally, it feels good. What has changed from the other conversation?

But, wait.  Didn’t I say, “It’s not about them?”  Yes, I did.

To get to the truth, the question begs an answer of what do you know about yourself?  What is the voice inside you when you are at odds with the world?  While you are pointing a firm finger outward  to others (It’s their fault) and minimizing your insides (I’ll never measure up), the world around seems to keep rolling on, as we are left to our own mental mess.

How do you feel when you connect with people?  How do you show up in a conversation? Are you present, or is your mind on the sports channel across the room or the baby napping in the other room?  The truth is that the entire scene is based on you, your perception of you, how you receive, how you give, what gets under your craw, what grabs your attention, and why.

As in the case above, if one is feeling they are not being heard, the shadow self  may reveal, “I am not heard.”  Then what is the core truth?  The big reveal is:  “I HAVE A VOICE!”  To further expand on the purpose of the core truth, one would add “and …”

I have a voice and an important message, can become the personal message in the conversation to oneself when not feeling like being heard, feeling left out, the office is not working together that day, and on goes the sea of conflicts to which this concept can be applied.

fb2fdb8c8607fc277da2c977e5e91d2fThis process requires a series of questions and some expertise to get to the core of someone’s personal truth.  We, as social beings, deal with many mental shadows, gatekeepers and guards that protect us against revealing what is true.  It is a tangled wad of wonder in our minds, comprised of all of our experiences, beliefs, and values.  Some serve us well, while others hold us back or give us a sense that we are inferior.

upcbfypvA trained NeuroLinguistic Program (NLP) Specialist gently guides one through the process with ease.  Imagine working with an NLP Specialist to the likeness of an alchemist creating the right mix or blend of something from nothing to create a miracle or an emergence of something great.  The perfect blend of questions brings aha! moments where there was a void or questions about a conflict.

Each individual carries their own personal message from the time they were born.  Do you remember when you were born?  We are capable of discovering this miracle, and we all carry the wisdom from beyond.

Bring light to your truth. What is YOUR truth?


HippyKatKat is a Core Alignment Mentor and Professional NLP Specialist, and Emotional Wisdom Trainer.  She is the founder of Taproots for Life, where she guides women, men and teens to awaken their light within to live a life of joy. She believes that each person deserves to feel grounded with a voice to be heard, while standing in their own authenticity.

Kat holds a sacred space for people to grow as independent thinkers by exploring, discovering and embracing their true authenticity and to inspire others with love, understanding and empowerment.

Her mentoring has changed lives, locally and internationally.  She is also a writer, herbalist, aromatherapist and lightworker.  For more information:




The Jewels of Denial

Recently, I enjoyed a trip with two friends, Char and Maria.  Driving back home,as we were chatting between two, then all three, then talking over each other- and yes, we heard each line of communication, as women have a knack to do- Char stopped suddenly and blurted out, still chewing with a mouth full of chips, “Okay, okay, I’ve got this issue, and I need to tell you
about it. I can’t hold it back any longer.”

“Okay, Char, what it is.  Out with it, “ Maria said in her rogue-ish impatience.  She cackled out a loud rendition of the wicked witch of the north and rung her hands as if she were onto something big. “We’re all friends, let’s have it.”

With Maria’s rowdy response, Char winced and began to speak about her situation at work, then stopped.  She felt that, while she trusted the friendly company, they may judge what she says or create more of it than it is.  Her mind began creating scenarios of “what did she say,” then “what did you say,” as she searched for the words to describe the relationship with someone she manages.  Hefriends-775356_1280r friends had always looked up to her as a leader, so Char was careful to describe this matter to the women she had known nearly all her life.

After a long awkward pause, I said quietly, “Cha-a-ar, is everything alright?”

She reacted quickly: “Everything is fine, well, no, not fine; but, it’s…I wish I…well, damn, I’m going to just come out with it. I hate this, but I need to tell someone, or I’m going to go nuts.”

As I was driving, I quickly looked up to the rear view mirror and Char’s face was red, like angry red.  Char was noted for her many stories about work: how she felt violated,  people not respecting her, people bossing her around, subordinates calling her out in public on things she did, and the list goes on.  Typically, after ranting about it, she seemed to take it all in stride and move on.  This time was different.

Char began her story.

“I manage three people in my department and one supervises another employee.  The employee’s name is Samantha.  Samantha is not the brightest crayon in the box, and she barely gets her work done. In fact, I do not know how she was hired into her position of auditing insurance claims.  Compared to the average auditor her capabilities are way below her pay grade and she is always behind.  Every day she has a problem with someone else and tries to divert the attention away from herself.
clerk-18915_1280Well, the last few weeks, because of the year end, we need to finish out all of these claims and she is dragging the team down.  I asked her supervisor if she could talk with her to find out why she could not get up to speed.  Her supervisor, Tara, reported that Samantha has had multiple days off work, took a snow day when the streets were only damp, called off when it rained, and God knows what else her Tara told me. Bottom line is Sam’s off work more than she is at work!

I asked the Tara about her course of action.  She said that Samantha had some personal problems and that she felt sorry for her.

I came unglued.  I swear fire shout out of my ears.  I told Tara to get back in her office and tell that Samantha that she is going to complete her stack of files if she has to stay all night to do it!  Further, I told her that Samantha needs to be put on a performance improvement plan and I was putting her on one, too!!   I had just had enough, my numbers were looking bad, and the hammer was coming down on me from the powers that be. Tara stormed out of my office in tears.  I was so mad, I was shaking.

Later, Samantha was knocking at my door.  Do you believe it?  She could not wait to come tell me how to do my job.  She came in with all her daggers ready.  She had the gall to stand with her hands on her hips at my door and tell me I was the worst person she has ever met, that I was a heartless, uncaring bitch. After she caused all the gossip in the office, spoke to everyone in condescending ways, and never respected any authority!

I lost all my senses and told her to get her (expletives) back to her desk or she was fired.  I told her she had no business storming into my office and talking to me like I was a child.

Samantha stormed at me with a vengeance of words I cannot repea
t.  I was appalled at her behavior.  This girl has repeatedly tried to destroy me in front of her peers, other supervisors and my manager.  I told her that she needed to get herself together and better think about what she just said.  I further told her that we were going to take a little trip down to HR.

She finally stormed out of my office and slammed the door so hard that the frame fell apart.  I was shaking so bad that I felt like puking!

Can you believe it?  Both of them, so ignorant!  I have been nothing but nice to them and they (expletive) all over me!!

What should I do?”

As I drove and listened in silence at Char’s story, I couldn’t help but see all of the little “jewels of denial” that she was laying before herself without even knowing it. Maria seemed so surprised but withheld her response with a shrug and the old  ‘I don’t know what to say’ look.

I asked her, “Char, looking back on this situation, what would you have done differently that could have changed the outcome?”  Her response was, “Nothing, those dumb (expletives) know their jobs, they just need to quit worrying about what I’m doing and get to work!”

Again, sicat-590684_1280lence, in this car ride that started out to be so fun.  Maria, retreated to her blanket and pillow, lowered her seat and rolled over to an imaginary nap.  I was left with our “dear” Char.

“Um, Char, do you see anything in that conversation that you could have done differently?” I thought I’d ask again in case she was still spinning in her anger.

“No damn way!  She is trying to get me fired so she can feel good about herself.  She thinks that if she eliminates the power, that she has won, and that she will be able to stay without being responsible in her job.”

“Okay.  I see.  So, based on this situation that you said seems to
re-occur, what kind of outcome is important to you?”

“I’m not changing, if that is what you are getting at.  Sam
antha is a bully and needs to get with the program.”

“Char, are you the upper management that oversees Samantha’s direct report?”

“Yes, and she is the only one I have a problem with. Tara should have asserted her authority prior to Samantha storming into my office and blowing off like a cannon.”

“I see.  It seems that her supervisor might have an issue, as well.  Is that true?”

“Yes, I guess that could be it, too.  She just doesn’t get how to manage people.”

“What kind of wisdom can you offer her to better manage Samantha?”

“I guess I should get more information on why Samantha went over her head to get to me.”fb2fdb8c8607fc277da2c977e5e91d2f

“What could you tell her to say to Samantha to make the situation better?”

“I don’t know if that situation can be resolved.  Samantha has not been performing.  I really don’t know why she is not performing. She’s called off sick a lot. ”

“What, typically, makes people call off sick a lot, from a manager’s perspective?”

“They have lots of problems or they are unhappy at work.”

I simply said, “Yes.”

I imagine, by now, you can see all of the “jewels of denial” that my friend, Char, the supervisor, Tara, and Samantha have presented. Additionally, you probably wondered what happened with Maria, as she completely tuned out the conversation and avoided any engagement in the exchange.

When clients inquire about these types of scenarios, I begin to take great care to guide them to a place of self-awareness, just like the questions I asked of Char.  When I ask specific questions, the tightly wound emotions of fear, anger, anxiety and others, come rolling out like a river of information.  What is the magic that causes this release, you ask?

While our subconscious mind holds all the beliefs from past experienmeditation-338446_1280ces, they sometimes get stuck and cannot move past repeated similar situations that mimic the first experience. It is our natural protection system.  As you could read, from Char’s experience, this was not the first time she experienced this.  In fact, it had become her life story, fighting everyone and putting up shields to be “ready” for the next person who came in her path.

If Char had chosen to see a professional specialist who practices NeuroLinguistic Programming, she would have been taken on a journey to evaluate what she wants in life, how to ask for it, how to show up, keep her word, and have an attitude of gratitude.  With just these five principles, this conflict could have been diffused with one single short meeting to gain an understanding and gather mo
re information about Samantha’s “failure” to thrive in her role.  A response rather than a reaction would have been key in resolving the conflict.
precious-1199183_640When we can recognize our “jewels of denial,” we can soon begin to realize that the whole world is not against us and that others are going through similar challenges in life.  When we explore more and find our “aha” moments, we begin to chip away at what has kept us in our limiting beliefs, and further begin to discover that we are a diamond beneath the surface!


HippyKatKat is a Core Alignment Mentor and Professional NLP Specialist, and Emotional Wisdom Trainer.  She is the founder of Taproots for Life, where she guides women, men and teens to awaken their light within to live a life of joy. She believes that each person deserves to feel grounded with a voice to be heard, while standing in their own authenticity.

Kat holds a sacred space for people to grow as independent thinkers by exploring, discovering and embracing their true authenticity and to inspire others with love, understanding and empowerment.

Her mentoring has changed lives, locally and internationally.  She is also a writer, herbalist, aromatherapist and lightworker.  For more information:




From Darkness Comes Light

Many years ago, I suffered abuses of a loved one.  They were mental, physical and emotional abuses, but mostly severe violations of the mind.  These were least detected, because I could keep up a pretty decent front to my family, friends and workplace, and no one knew. It was my secret.

I recall that one night he raped me, laughed  and rolled over to a deep snore.  I slowly rolled over in bed and quietly sobbed myself to sleep. I was devastated.

Once, I sustained a cut on my lip from “him” ramming his elbow against my lower jaw.  My tooth went through my lip.  I had to explain it to work as I “ran into a door.” This was a pivotal moment that I did not deserve these continued abuses.

I kept a hidden journal to write down my fears, horrors and prayers.  I recorded the incidents, in case I ended up dead in an undisclosed place.  Surely, someone would find my scribbling and know what happened. I was careful to keep it hidden for fear he would find it and unleash even more angefile000388004075r.

On the last day of living in this horror, he tried to hurt me as he raised a chair over my head to strike me while I slept. My Creator and angels were with me, as I awoke and saw him standing there about to commit the ultimate abuse- to take a mother from her children. I pushed him back with my foot to protect myself. As he jerked back with the chair, he lacerated his hand on a glass light fixture above that he had broken.
I was grateful my children were not present to see this shocking act. I did my best to hide the abuse from them in the past, but the physical acts were coming more frequent, as he now had been lying with a new “love.”  It was time for me to leave.

After 10 years and three children, I left the relationship and moved on with my life, with much counseling and consoling from strangers. My family did not understand, so there was no one to provide the emotional support I needed. My mother helped, as she could, by caring for my youngest, when he was ill, or picked him up from daycare.

I had children to raise, one with Cystic Fibrosis. . And now, I had to raise them alone with little job experience, no college education, and no financial support.

We lived in poverty for about 3 years, struggling around every corner. I reached out for love in all the wrong places. I drove a beat-up car that my broth
file000637797981er lent me. It had a large toddler-sized hole in the floorboard where my children sat.  I covered it with plywood and told them never to lift it. I was lucky. Sometimes I bummed a ride from someone when the car didn’t start up on a cold winter morning.

I bought clothes at Goodwill, at a time when only poor people shopped there.  I would see the saddened stare back at me, when someone asked me where I bought the beautiful suit and I told them where.

I did not show my inner shame to the kids.  I would proudly wear my resale clothes so they could see that life was not so bad. We celebrated with junk food nights and a movie, when that was all there was to do. I did my best to raise their spirits, while we had nothing else to exist on during that time.

When I ate lunch at work, I ate braunsweiger sandwiches (I needed the protein and the fat to survive, and it was cheap). I listened to ridicule and laughter from my co-workers, because my sandwiches did not meet their standard, or aroma, of what lunch should be. I smiled and tried to act like it didn’t hurt. But it did, and deeply. What they didn’t know was it was my only meal of the day.

On occasion, people would throw money my way. Five dollars, a ten, or sometimes a fifty. It made them feel good, I guess. I felt like a beggar on the street, but any mother who had been there would understand.   What I really yearned for, however, was their time, their hands to help or just to sit and talk. I felt hollow, emotionless, yet I cried with gratitude that someone thought of me to give from their own earnings.euro-1144835_1280

I didn’t come from an impoverished family so accepting money from someone was foreign and disgraceful to me.  I had a great life growing up and wanted for nothing.

Somewhere, in my late teens, however, I decided to take a short cut to moving on with my life as an adult. I made a choice to marry young. I quickly learned that I made a bad choice in a life partner, yet it eventually resulted in a life of growth that I had not imagined would emerge.  The journey has been a lifelong struggle to feel worthy of love, again.

Knowing the predicament I was in, I began to learn as much as I could, taking college courses and reading self-help books to improve myself.  My superiors soon observed that I had a talent for managing and helping people.  They took chances on me and promoted me.  I created my way in the work world, and, to this day I am humbly grateful to those leaders who recognized my gift and invested their time to teach me.

As I grew mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I observed that “he” did not grow up as I did. His story is his own and not for me to tell. I now feel a different respect for him, as a human beingMan in Despair on Bench and a soul who is struggling to learn his path.

While it is not my place to speculate where his path may lead, I can only pray that his

journey leads to hope, kindness and a love for himself; for it is with realization and love of the self that we begin to heal and can show this love for others.

About 10 years ago, my children held a birthday party for one of the grandchildren. “He” was there.  My heart quickened in fear for only a moment.  It was then that I realized that I had come this far, and could actually be in the same room without feeling fear or disgust. I spoke only briefly with “him.”

As the party departed, I felt compelled to hug this man.  The man that I allowed to take parts of me that were my identity.  As I embraced him, he could not return the love.  He heart was still in a darkened place, as he stiffly allowed my hug.  As for myself, I could feel the deep compassion within my soul to forgive and release this darkness inside myself to bring love and light – an awakening of my soul!woman-570883_1920

This is a piece of my life that I share with you, the public.  This comes from a very deep place.  It has taken me 30 years to come to this point, to feel like my story may have some worth to another person, even though many friends and publishers have asked me to share it. Small steps.

hands-684499_1280Only with the help of Core Alignment Coaching and work with neurolinguistic programming, have I been able to free this story to a page.  It is with deep gratitude I owe this transformation to many mentors along the way at Core Alignment, as I learned the process to further heal myself, and now share it with others.

I have healed over time, yet there’s a scar on the inside of my lip that reminds me of how far I have come.  It is a bittersweet memory of the love I chose because of the love inside me. I became lost, but now have re-discovered this love and share it with one who loves me back.

Perhaps this story may move you to help someone who seems to struggle at work, at home, kids bullying on the playground or a  frustrated teacher in a classroom, a person you see on the street, or a lonely widow(er). It might be a caregiver or nurse, a truck driver or a person who stands alone. There are many opportunities to reach out.

When you see someone struggling,  take time, share the light within you to make their day just a bit brighter, and feel hopeful that there are still people on earth who have peace in their hearts and can share it no matter the emotions that come from it. This is the journey that begins in you!

 May the peace of all souls unite during this season of love and light and cause a ripple effect throughout the world!



HippyKatKat is a Core Alignment Mentor and Professional NLP Specialist and Emotional Wisdom Trainer.  She is the founder of Taproots for Life, where she guides women, men and teens to awaken their light within to live a life of believes that each person deserves to feel grounded with conviction in their own authenticity, with a voice to be heard.

Kat opens a sacred space for people to grow as independent thinkers by exploring, discovering and embracing their true authenticity and to inspire others with love, understanding and empowerment.

Her mentoring has changed lives, locally and internationally.  She is also a writer, herbalist, aromatherapist and lightworker.

Contact info:

Visit her website: (currently under construction)