Calming the Terrier Mind for Better Focus and Balance

We all have our moments of distraction, right? Well, some of us have so many ideas, deadlines, and media recall running through our minds that distractions come easily, and sometimes with fatalities. Ever realize you drove home from work and don’t remember how you got there?  We have entered the realm of the terrier mind.

This is a quick guide to gather information on resources that could help you become more focused, mindful, and feel more grounded in your daily life.

Have you ever watched one? A terrier, that is. They are quick-witted little dogs that can catch your eye in a second, and that may all the time you get to actually see the cuteness. Terriers dart at anything that catches their attention: leaves falling; walnuts on the ground become toys; paper in the trash can; the merciless cats that “taunt” them; and, of course…squirrels. And they race until the sun goes down. Back and forth, back and forth, halting and darting to every sensory stimulus that sparks their mind.

My point is that our minds can be much like the terrier mind. Do you experience this? I do, at times. Especially as a writer! Ideas, ideas, everywhere ideas. So many ideas, so little time. And, I could write on and on about this topic…but! I will not bore you with that rabbit hole – which is a whole different subject. And, by the way, terriers do love rabbit holes!

Let’s take a gaze into a person’s life on the job. Emily is a senior manager at her lobbying firm. She worked hard to get there because of her keen attention to detail, her talent for vision, and her sense of focus. After five years, Emily had built several working teams, improved her bottomline, landed multiple accounts with top executive businesses, and managed to pull off Business Woman of the Year.

In her sixth year, something shifted for Emily. She was feeling worn out at the end of her usual twelve-hour day. She noticed that she had more than her fair share of colds and flu-bugs. Her mental and emotional fuses became short when people would ask her simple questions or ask her to do a presentation for an inquiring business. Emily could not seem to find the balance between work and home. She lost interest in working out and playing sports. Emily had finally succumbed to her terrier mind!

Few people can continue to multi-task, engage every thought, and be successful for very long. And even fewer people make it out alive (not kidding), never addressing the real cause and effect: terrier mind plus burnout equals health decline (sometimes heart attacks and other life limiting illnesses).

Anyone reading this blog is a talented person with a brilliant mind, yet something drew you to this particular article.  You guessed it! The terrier mind was at it again!!  So, what if you could train your terrier mind to have the focus  and balance you’ve longed for?  What difference would it make for you?  How would your life change?  Yep, that’s what I thought.  I’ll bet you could answer those questions very quickly!

So!  Where do we go from here?  There are many books on how to attain focus, zen meditations, years of counseling, massage and any of the arts that point to relaxation of the mind.  And, I am not discounting any of these services – they are needed and have certainly found their niche in personal wellness.  But, it takes a little more than a weekend or one session to discover and re-train a “mental program” that has been running in your head for some time.  This terrier mind can be re-trained!

In fact, to re-train your mind is not only essential to regaining balance and focus, it

Csíkszentmihályi, 2010- Courtesy of Wikipedia

is also beneficial for your health.  Remember the ads for senior citizens that tell the audience to get out and learn something new?  It is the same concept.  Engage in new thought patterns – live longer and healthier!

According to Mihaly Csíkszentmihályi, Hungarian-American psychologist, when focused on a task that brings happiness, one experiences “flow.”  It is a state of concentration where time and space become non-existent.  While many people do not work in jobs that bring this state, it becomes important to us to either choose a job that embraces a passion that we envision; or, train our minds to bring this sense of focus and flow to our existing life and work.

I know, as a writer, that I can write for hours, sometimes days, without realizing any sense of time, space or anything going on around me.  It is a place of complete focus and happiness.  This always been easy and natural for me.  The balance, however, I had to work on.  We can become so absorbed in this focus that other responsibilities can fall to the wayside.

So, what is the answer?  Remember the terrier mind and the re-training that I mentioned earlier?  Re-training the mind is possible through utilizing NeuroLinguistic Programming (NLP) and Emotional Wisdom Training (EWT).  These terms get thrown around a lot in social media and other big box advertising for coaching.  Here are some statements that sets NLP and EWT practices apart from others:

Kate Michels

1. A coach, mentor, or counselor (practitioner) who uses NLP or EWT (coined by Kate Michels, Psychologist) will only guide a client.  He/she does not suggest or re-train your mind for you.

2.  It is not hypnotherapy, but uses the same concept, except you are completely awake and conscious.  You are in control of the path you choose with your practitioner.

3. Re-training your mind for long term pattern change cannot be done in a weekend.  It took years for your beliefs and patterns to form so it takes a little time to re-train; sort of like learning to ride a bike again after years of not riding.

4.  Combined, EWT and NLP follow an artful method to practice with clients and the science to back it up.  EWT/NLP practitioners are trained in the cause and effect of emotions and the gentle way of assisting a client down those paths of former mental programs without dwelling in the emotion.   Outcomes are subtle, yet very powerful. Suddenly, one might realize that they are acting or speaking differently than before, for example.  They, also, realize that this is the path they chose and attained.

5.  Practitioners become adept at coaching/mentoring with practice.  Most schools do not offer a period of working with real clients in order to experience all types of behaviors.  It is also important to hire a NLP practitioner who also practices EWT.  Ask the questions.

6.  A client may work on one pattern of behavior at a time.  One cannot fix all mental programs in a few weeks.  The client chooses, with the practitioner, what they want to work on and the idea becomes the focus throughout the weeks of mentoring/coaching.

7.  Re-aligning the mind for focus and balance is a moderately timed methodical approach to lasting results

8.  Here are some quick resources:

Professional Mentoring   Schedule a free session with a Professional Mentor and experience the methods described in this blog.

Professional Coach Training:  Learn more about how to become a professional coach with training that focuses on the art, psychology, and scientific methods that bring results.

NLP Coaching Resource Search for a coach or mentor that best fits what you wish to change or improve

I took the methodical approach for myself and put in the time to re-train my mind through many limiting beliefs that I created over time, abuses that I experienced, and built up terrier mind thought processes that were not serving me, and were creating a field of illness all around me.  This was, and still is, time well spent to create a healthier outlook on life, healthier body, deeper sense of spirit, and experience the utmost – balance and happiness!

What passion rocks your world?

Kat is a Professional Success Catalyst  and Mind Alchemist who specializes in the art and science of Core Alignment, NeuroLinguistic Programming and Emotional Wisdom Training, and holds a certificate in the Psychology of Happiness.

She offers programs for life and business, featuring Women’s Enrichment Programs and Diversity in Business.

Ask about her POW (Power of Wisdom) Tribes! kat@taprootsforlife.com               929-333-4624

 

 

Accepting Home

Over the last few months, the reality of time and home have been on my mind.  I have been visiting my aging parents more frequently, and reflect on the moment as much.  I think about the past, during my childhood years, growing up the oldest of six siblings.  I believe our childhood mirrored a series or two of the Waltons, that is, without the mountain-we had a hill.  I realize that sounds hokey, but it is what I remembered in our semi-rural dwellings in the Midwest.

Our bare-footed summers were spent running through the woods playing hide and seek, creating secret hideouts in the trees, building dams in the creek, barricading forts in the woods for the “bad guys,” swinging from tree swings, long hours at the local ball field playing soccer, kickball, hotbox and fast-pitch.

When my dad bought a vintage convertible, my brother and sisters and I would volunteer to wash it for him so we would have an excuse to hear stereo.  We would crank up the HiFi (yes, that’s HiFi, Gen Xers and Millenniums, not Wifi) and sing, “Jeremiah was a Bullfrog!”  We were free and loving life.

In the winter, we could not wait for the snow to arrive.  The colder the weather and the higher the snowfall made for the best sled train ever.   The oldest kids would rally the neighborhood tots, tweeners and teens.   Everyone would link up their sleds at the top of the longest street in the neighborhood.  There would be at least 15 kids willing to brave the long hill.  This was the one time of year when all kids laid down their arguments and became a movie of interactive, collaborative characters in a winter wonderland.

We had sleds, shovels, toboggans, or whatever would slide through the snow and link into
the train.
We laid claim that it was the longest sled train in the universe.  Our parents were certainly amused by our spirit, as they watched us whiz by with kids rolling off and giggling in the snow, and the littlest guy with frosty red cheeks running to catch up shouting, “Hey wait for me.”

Many of those parents still live in that old neighborhood, including my parents.  They have stories to tell about their families and living in the 50’s and through the 80’s.

Aging parents, like mine, sometimes are forced to make decisions about their lives- do we stay or do we move?  Their limitations have become reality.  But, such memories here.  The family home, the memories of celebrated Christmases around the tree with their lit
tle kids ripping open presents, laughing, and singing carols; times around the campfire listening to Mom and Dad’s jokes and stories; music lessons, PTA meetings, dance lessons, 4-H club, scouts, football games, proms, cold brisk soccer games, and graduations. The timeline list of hustle and bustle could write a great American life story for anyone who lived in Maxville Terrace.

Recently, when I’ve thought about all of these fleeting moments of joy in my own life, I could not help but wonder what my parents feel, as they approach the last years of their lives.  My mother had recruited a couple of us to help her downsize.  She had been preparing for the “just in case,” moment.  She made it known: “Dad or I could go at any time, but if Dad goes first I just want to be prepared to move.”  Logically thi
nking, she- being the quilter, seamstress, and crafter- would obviously have more things to downsize, so she chose to move forward,ready for whatever emotions she might face, as she gave away fine memories that were attached to each scrap of fabric.  “Oh, this was a piece from
your father’s shirt,” or, “Remember when I made matching dresses from this for you and your sister?”

When I heard her words, I heard a bit of quiver in her voice.  She had been reflecting on the past, too.  As we pulled out old boxes of greeting cards from the closet, she seemed to have a story for nearly every one of them.  I recalled some faded stories of the past, as well.  The cards dated back to the 1950’s with angelic faces, romantic watercolor pictures and cartoon characters of the times.

“Look, Mom, this one was when you and dad were married; Oh, Mom, look at this one.  It’s a shower card from when I was born.”  She stopped, looked at them, pondered, and smiled.  This was a moment for both of us.  Time stood still for just a moment.

She knew she couldn’t keep them, as it seemed like leaving a friend behind when we tossed them, one by one, into the wastebasket.  I felt her loss.  I reminisced with her with bittersweet sorrow, as she disguised her own with a smile.

I asked her if we had to dispose of all of them.  She responded quietly, “Well, the memories are all there.  I’m just saving the ones that have special messages written.”  I smiled as she said this, as I knew that she could not give up all of the beautiful cards, particularly the ones with special thoughts.  Giving up the cards were reminders of good memories, some not so good; however, I could see it was difficult.

After, we completed the first phase of downsizing, we paused.  I said, “Mom, I know this can’t be easy for you.”  She smiled and said, “It’s just stuff. I have still have pictures and memories of our family.”  We hugged, and I knew at that moment she was at peace with her decision to downsize.

As I packed up my car with things that were bound for the thrift store, it occurred to me that the two of us were in a place of acceptance with a home that no longer represented a house or even the memories.

 

I sat in the driveway feeling grounded in a truth. My mother and I had explored, reflected, and discovered that our peace was in the women we had become. It was a place in our mind, body, and soul that we truly know as home.

 

May you find joy in each moment as you discover your own sacred place of home in the heart during this season of love, peace and celebration. 

Kat is a Core Alignment Mentor and Professional NLP Specialist and Emotional Wisdom Trainer.  She is the founder of Taproots for Life, where she guides women, men and teens to awaken their light within to live a life of joy.at believes that each person deserves to feel grounded with conviction in their own authenticity, with a voice to be heard.

Kat holds a sacred space for people to grow as independent thinkers by exploring, discovering and embracing their true authenticity and to inspire others with love, understanding and empowerment.

Her mentoring has changed lives, locally and internationally.  She is also a writer, herbalist, aromatherapist and lightworker.

Contact info:  info@taproots.com

Visit her website:  www.taprootsforlife.com (currently under construction)