PART I: Three Types of People-Pleaser Mindsets and their Missions
I’m sure you are wondering: Why is Kat writing about with chameleons? Well, my friends, I am a great advocate of using metaphors to better understand difficult concepts. The chameleon is a fantastic animal to use as one of the metaphoric stories to get to know a specific style of mindset that we encounter every single day.
First, a chameleon is a reptile that lives in various parts of the tropics that is one of the most versatile-minded animals with a predisposition to be adaptable and non-predatory. Secondly, they have the beautiful ability to change color with mood, temperature, and season. I liken them to people-pleasers of the human species.
People pleasers can be categorized into three types of behavior that I have called: Energetic, Passive, and Master
Energetic people-pleasers are those lovely folks who want to change the world and you are their target. One can always count on them to organize a benefit or workshop that will bring change to the individual, the group, and the community. Why? Because the Energetic people-pleaser wants to know they can fix it.
The Energetic people pleaser is the type of chameleon who will change their colors to meet you wherever you are because they have decided they want to help you – whether you want it or not. You hear them chanting it all the time: The world needs to change! This chameleon mindset will make change, but sometimes it is only immediate and short-lived.
Passive chameleons are the quiet people-pleasers whose colors have blended into the background and have become so passive that they do not even have a defense mechanism. They are good people; however, the boundaries are invisible just like they have become. Passive people-pleasers will give the shirts off their backs to help someone who is in need. They will lie across a muddy bank to allow an elephant of needy cargo to cross as their backbone flexes and endures the pain. These are most likely special people who have endured abuse, neglect, and other social injustices. They feel justified in being invisible, without a voice, in order to help others. They tend to feel a connection with those they help. Passive people-pleasers are most likely inspirational in the remote chance the receiver realizes it. It is a receiver’s paradise.
Master Chameleons are people-pleasers who tend to either have recognized their natural gift of empowerment or have committed to self-reflection and active personal growth in order to realize their capabilities to assist others to follow suit with the same program. They aspire to be influencers in a way that inspires others to follow their lead. This chameleon adapts and is aware of those around them in the diverse forest in which they navigate. Core people-pleasers utilize their intuition to motivate. Most of these chameleon-types only want to be a part of the change, not THE change. They seem to be grounded and balanced.
Do you know one of these types of chameleons? How have they entered your circle of friends or family? Do you recognize them at work?
This is Part I of recognizing the chameleon as a metaphor for understanding the people-pleaser mindsets and how they serve in various social settings. Once we begin to take note of their behaviors, we can see them everywhere – much like when you buy a green car, you suddenly begin to notice green cars everywhere. This article is meant to bring to your attention to what part you play in being a people-pleaser, to become more aware of your own behaviors, and to recognize the chameleon in others to gain better understanding in those various social settings when conflict arises.
Next month, I will break down each of the chameleon mindsets and help you build on what supports you when you find yourself in a social setting and wonder where you fit in. It is important to know that these outlined observations are not necessarily personality types, but a mindset that we choose with the current information that is in front of us. Ultimately, all people are inherent influencers, but our emotions become the game-changer when we decide upon a belief to attach to incidents, accidents and events in our lives. When we are aware of these “belief triggers” we can re-set our mind to what we truly know ourselves to be and to create and influence toward a better world around us.
Kat is a Professional Core Alignment Mentor, author, and Neurolinguistic Practitioner. Through her global practice she supports women in changing their mindset before, during, and after life-changing events.
Kat will be teaching Core Alignment Principles and Practices through Emotional Wisdom Training Institute in the Winter session 2020.
Taproots for Life, LLC https://www.taprootsforlife.com