Love is inside out…

What is love to you?

Recently, love and its meaning came in pure form from a man I met with mid-stage dementia.  I’ll call him Nate. I asked Nate, “what is love to you?”  His response was simple:  “Doing what I can to help someone.”  When I asked a little later, Nate said, “Love is having a cat in your lap.”  As simple as his answers came, I knew there was more.

Further, I asked when was the last time he felt love.  Nate did not hesitate and retorted, “You can’t put a time on love!”  I felt that he was getting a little fired up, so I know his brain was engaged.  In my persistence to find out what this man felt as love, he answered more: “Love is knowing that the world is a good place to be.”

“Love is knowing that the world is a good place to be.”

Love is knowing that the world is a good place to be….it’s worth repeating.  A man, in the throes of dementia, still felt emotion about love and, in his innate wisdom, could describe that love is not of the world or in the world, but what we perceive and feel that love is from the inside out.  The knowing; and, once we know love, all else is good.

Have you ever noticed how a person just beams when they have love in their life?  How do they get it?  You think, “I want some of that!”  We are not talking about romantic love; we are talking about intimate love.  The kind of  intimate love like Nate described: doing what you can to help someone, having a cat in your lap,and knowing that it comes from you, inside. Deep down inside.  Even the cat knows what this is!


How did we get lost in feeling this longing for intimacy?  The feeling of contentment, feeling that the world is all good no matter what occurs in our lives.

Experiences happen to us.  Lost loves, misunderstandings,  lack of communication, anger, loneliness, fear, hate.  The list of emotions and experiences is endless.

How do we get back on track to get that feeling of contentment that we all seek?  Take a step back for just a moment.  What drives you?  What is your passion?  Money, houses, boats, bigger income.  Dig deeper!

What is it that you reeeaaally want?  Better job, kinder boss, more loving relationships. How will your life look when you get these things?  02-2016mel-mlonnberg-300dpi

Are these things what you really want, or, is there more?  What will make you happy once you get these things?  Think love and all of its possibilities.  I can guarantee that a car or house will not bring love and contentment, but it will bring some new hefty payments, which brings a whole new set of emotions (We’ll save that hot mess for another blog!).

Love comes to us in all perceptions and emotions.  When we ask ourselves at least three times what we reaallly want, the emotions open and we sit with these feelings, knowing that this is the first step to knowing where to go for love.

We find that love is not in the things we want or achieve, but in that love already is.               All we have to do is accept and know.




Kathleen “Kat” Kohler Schwartz, is a Holistic Mentor and owner of Salt of the Earth Holistic Wellness.  She delivers a mind, body, spirit approach to life coaching that brings results.

Kat’s practice can be experienced in her office, and by phone or Skype sessions.  She is available Monday through Friday by appointment.   314-359-2467












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