One morning, I was sitting in my favorite nook in the dining room. I flipped on the Sunday news and started chowing down on my large bowl of oatmeal, piled high with berries and pecans. I looked up and thought, “how healthy am I?!” Then, to my surprise, a little voice that nests herself on my shoulder from time to time said, “Then why do you never feel fulfilled after breakfast?” I just wanted to toss that little ego-wrecker right outside the door. She was self-defeating, belittling and just plain negative!
But, I listened to the little voice, (I’ll call her Abby, short for Gabby Abby!) a little while longer. She seemed to gently fade away when I decided to listen. Hmmm. Where did she go?
Each of us possess this inner voice like Abby. When you are tootling along, minding your own business, everything is great, then BAM! That self-defeating voice singes our happiness. We fight back, kicking, hammering our fist. “Why is this happening, go away, let me be!” Does this sound familiar to you? It should, as this is the typical reaction for most people when their Gabby Abby comes to visit. Just when we are about to score the biggest promotion of our life or get down on one knee to make that life-changing proposal, she makes her chalkboard scratching presence known. The voice that sounds like an annoying mosquito comes whining to our shoulder, “Do you really want to do that? Is is really time to ask her/him? Maybe tomorrow.”
Every one is born with a area of the mind that collects experiences throughout our lifetime. Enter subconscious. Our subconscious is developing from the moment we are born. Everything we see, touch, taste, smell, and experience is stored in our subconscious mind. Based on our experiences and lessons, we create our own personal values and protection systems (that fire is hot, so do not touch it!).
At those times when we least suspect that any thought would counter our intentions, our subconscious draws from experience, creates the protective “friend,” and speaks from that little voice. “Should I move forward, backward, or stay?” Now, you may think this is a bad thing, but! not so. Our subconscious is also noted as the ego. The ego exists in all of us. Our subconscious ego can drive us, protect us, and keep us in check. But, it can also make us crazy if we don’t understand it. Most people tend to listen to the negative thoughts, based on limiting experiences, that keep us from moving forward. Our parents who always said “no” to everything we asked, or the constant beating down of the personal spirit, as with abuse. Believe it or not, recognizing our little voice is valuable!
When we are able to realize what causes our thought process, we are able to move past the experiences that we allowed to defeat our spirit. But, the subconscious ego will protect those experiences and thoughts until another experience or intervention (EWT, counselor, friend) can help us realize that the experiences do not serve us in certain situations – repeated behaviors, for example.
Shall we revisit the oatmeal and Gabby Abby on Sunday morning? When Abby left my mind, once I addressed her, I realized that a message was waiting there. What was it? I turned off the TV and sat to listen. I looked back into the bowl of oatmeal, as if the answer would burst from the berries. And suddenly, it occurred to me. I had not taken the opportunity to focus on my meal, my mind was wandering and I had not given thanks. The aftermath of eating while watching TV and not paying attention to my meal was setting me up for an empty day of continued wandering.
I stopped everything: I held my hands over the oatmeal and tea and gave thanks for Mother Earth who nurtured and sprouted the oats, the farmer who grew and harvested, blessed those who processed and packaged, the drivers who delivered it to the store, all the people in the store who moved the product to the shelves. I continued to bless my ability to make the money to purchase the box of oatmeal; and, the berries,nuts, etc. that graced the top of my breakfast.
At that moment, I was able to unlock the subconscious ego and see that I was not exactly living the healthiest. Even though I was eating healthy food and exercising, I was not nurturing my mind and spirit. A great lesson came from this for me. I recalled that I was always at my happiest when I meditated in the morning, got in a yoga session or just sat in a moment of silence with my breakfast. This was feeding my subconscious ego with positive thoughts and actions. When Gabby Abby visits again, I have just the right medicine. Silence is golden!
Over the last 30 years, I had taught about this state of consciousness to supervisors, managers and co-workers: awareness, taking time from their over-scheduled world, being thankful. But, this single Sunday morning occurrence made me realize that I had lost some of my own lesson along the way. As one goes through Emotional Wisdom Training (EWT), this is the type of aha! moment that can be experienced. In the moment, I was able to recall my own training and understand where my mind needed to be for my own well-being.
Most of the world’s population is not trained to listen to their own innate wisdom, due to the busy chatter, multiple obligations, failed relationships, juggling schedules, and the like. When reaching out to discover one’s innate wisdom by partnering with an Emotional Wisdom Trainer, the world just becomes a better place.
Now, will you please pass the milk? My oatmeal is waiting. Smiles….